This is what happens when I have nothing to say

I have no idea how to start this one off. I feel like I am asleep and that I have been asleep for three days straight. The sad thing is I think I did stuff or at the very least had some thoughts that I felt were worth sharing. Hummmm, I guess I can just ramble about nothing and you will like it.

One thing that I have noticed over the past few weeks is Facebook. Yes I do have a Facebook account, I don’t use it all that much, maybe put a picture up or sometimes comment on something but I really don’t check it out all that much. I am noticing something really funny though, some of my ex girls friends apparently have been having a rash of break ups and they are really depressed. You know what, fuck you, grab a fucking razor blade and end it you bitch. That’s what you fucking get you ho. Really I must be very morbid but every time I see her post it is all about how sad she is and I can’t help but to laugh. This was the same girl that broke up with me via a myspace email so I have no love loss for her. In fact I want her to fail every day of her life and I want her to realize that she is a dumb stupid ho that has a life time of failures ahead of her. Good work you dumb bitch, I bet you regret it now?

Also, I have made my selection of who will be going to the Bahamas with me. Her name will be kept secret for now. I am all set, I just got my passport in the mail yesterday, going to buy some new stuff for the trip and hit the gym, which has its own set of problems. So I try to go to the gym four days a week and during my trips I lift weights, I am trying to finally get some muscles and loose my baby fat. So I work and I work and nothing. Then I just see dudes all around me that lift less than me and they are all ripped up, it fucking sucks.

Damn it I am just looking at my wall right now. This sucks.

Alright I just slapped the shit out of myself and told myself not to be a big pussy and write this like I mean it. This was a very big week for me. Like I said before I did make my choice for the Bahamas, I feel that I made the right choice but then I started thinking about it. Not about her not being a good choice to go more about me and why in the fuck I had to put an ad up on craigslist? I mean think about it, I know I am sexy, smart, I am alright in the sac…I basically think of myself as a pretty good guy to be with. So really why do I have to resort to putting an ad up to get a girl to go with me the Bahamas? I just don’t get it.

This has dominated my thoughts for a few weeks now. I am by no means freaked out or depressed by it, I just find it kind of odd. Oh well, nothing for me to cry about.

Really?

I start this one out of a place of pure anger, which if you know me probably does not surprise you at all. It doesn’t help that I just got done seeing The Hurt Locker win every Academy Award except for Best Actor, the one I thought it should have won for. Really? Are you fucking kidding me, that movie was good but it was not the best picture of the year, not by a long shot. Again I think the Academy is trying to make up for one of their biggest mistakes by not having There Will Be Blood win, a movie that I like more and more every time I see it. Really watch both movies and I am telling you they are both so similar with the character driven stories they both had, to bad Daniel Plainfield was fucking awesome. Anyways, there is another reason I am upset today, in fact I have been pissed off about this since yesterday.

As I do every Saturday that I am in town, I wash my clothes and call my Grandparents for my weekly updates. But what do I do to kill time when I cannot get them on the phone? Well I came across the SF Weekly, similar the LA Weekly or OC Weekly, it has an article about something that very few people care about and will tell you upcoming events in the city for people who care. But this one was different right off the bat, there was a comic book style drawing of a girl with the headline “Girl Game” and was about females not being able to get guys in SF. “Oh really?” I thought to myself. Let me see what these cunts have to say.
Before I go any further I am not going to put any quotes from the article, I am too lazy and I don’t want to justify the significance of the article beyond that it was one of the worst things I have ever read. However, if you want to read if for yourself be my guest http://www.sfweekly.com/2010-03-03/news/girl-game/

For those lazy like myself I will first give you a synopsis of the article. Women apparently cannot find guys in San Francisco, they claim that they are unsure if a guy is gay or not, guys do not approach them and that because of the culture of San Francisco guys feel they do not have to grow up. So the person who wrote this article had been hearing similar things being said by her girlfriends and decided to get a pick up artist to teach a small group of women how to pick up guys. The idea was that if guys are not going to pick up girls then girls should pick up guys. The article also does some sort of math to equate that there are 60k single guys in SF and 68k women. Their figure did take into account gays, lesbians and married people, so I did kind of buy that number.

So these women meet this English guy who goes by the avatar “Soul” and admittedly he really doesn’t know what to do with the girls. That guys are a different breed and that we are turned on by different things. It basically came down to pumping these women up to the point that they would just stand next to a guy and talk to them and see where it goes. Only one of them had any type of mild success when she was talking to one of the pickup artists who was helping out Soul.

Also, dudes I am going to give you a special message right now. Actually it is not all that special. I am pretty sure your mom when you came out of her pussy gave you a name. fucking use your name ok? Really this is fucking stupid, fucking “Soul?” how fucking gay is that. Really step back and look at yourself and say to yourself “do I really tell girls my name is Soul?” if you answer yes, you are a fucking loser. I cannot put it any plainer then that. Now if you pay to go to a class on how to pick up girls you are a loser of the highest order. I will tell you right now how to pick up girls, I know it works because I took two confussed kids last summer and they became pimps in front of my eyes. It is very easy and in no way cheesy.

Are you ready because you should take out your note pads right now. This is what you do. You do not, come up with some silly ass name for yourself, you go with the name that you have on your driver’s license. You don’t come up with any bullshit line to strike up a conversation. You don’t dress up in any funny way that is outside of how you usually dress. You do with what you have and only what you have. Think of it like camping old school, there you have a knife and the knowledge to make a fire. Wait for it…

You first scan the room for a girl that strikes your eye. You decide what girl you are going to talk to. Once you decide you walk up to her, introduce yourself and ask her what her name is. After that you go from there and ask questions. Remember you have two ears and one mouth, so listen twice as much as you fucking talk. Especially since girls like hearing the sound of their own voice this is critical for success. Do not offer to buy a drink right away, instead try to have a conversation with the girl. If the conversation is lame and she is lame, if you guys are not going to click fucking bail out and move on to the next girl. If you do find yourself in a good conversation then offer to buy a drink. Do you see how simple that is?

So back to these bitches, they all go out after meeting Soul and they try to pick up dudes. Two of them right away say the guys they were going for were gay. They have no proof, they don’t even ask they just assume. Then they claim one success story when one of the girls started talking to one of the pick up artist’s. Ok, really you claim success at all? Dude the bitch held hands with a guy that is a PICK UP ARTIST, that is what he does is pick up chicks. So congratulations to you and your family, you won. But the real reason you won is because I am writing about this now and you will probably have more hits on your stupid fucking article then you ever imagined. So I accept your thanks in advance.

Why I am so upset is because these stupid cunts, like all cunts blame everything on men. Really, it is all our fault? Is what first bothered me was that they claim there are no good guys and guys will not talk to them. I know for a fact this is bullshit because I fucking talk to girls any time I am out and you know what happens? Nothing, nothing at all. I get no phone numbers, I get no dates, and I get nothing. I even keep going with a conversation with a girl I don’t like at all just on the off chance I am wrong about her. But still I get nothing. And you know what I am not the only that gets nothing out of it, all of my guy friends except for Simon get nothing. Let me also clarify that I am not even talking about sex this time, I am talking about a phone number of even a day date, we get nothing and we try. So fuck you, we try.

As for there are no good guys out there. I know that all my girl friends that I have not had sex with would say I am one of the best guys they know. I am cool, funny, good looking and have a good job. So when they say that they cannot find any good ones I really don’t know what they mean by that. Tell me what is good? Don’t worry I will wait. Or is it you don’t fucking know what you are looking for so you blame guys for your stupidness. I would bet a million bucks you are the problem.

They also say that because of the culture in San Francisco guys here don’t grow up. They try to sound smart by saying that because guys usually live with roommates they tend to always keep that forever young I’m still in college vibe. Could it be that rent is too expensive for one person to live? No that can’t be it at all. Also, by your logic 90% of the girls in this fucking town are all grown up and live by themselves? Dude if I was a standup comic I could just say that one line, walk off the stage and be forever a legend. They are basically saying that most of the guys here have Peter pan syndrome, if you don’t know what that is I will tell you. It is a fake term made up by some Jew to give a reason why some guys don’t want to grow up. But the term was made more for guys that really can’t function beyond 6th grade and are forever trapped in that time.

Here is my take on this whole thing, being that I am a guy and I know what you are talking about is total fucking shit. You are the problem not us. The girls here seem to have this crazy sense of entitlement. They want everything all the time and I don’t care who you are, you can’t give everything all the time. Girls here are looking for something that does not exist, they want a doctor or a lawyer, basically a rich guy that looks awesome. How many of those guys do you think there are? Also, news flash that guy is going out with the dumbest bitches that they can parade around town to show off to their friends. Or they buy a pro for the weekend. They are not coming for you, trust me. So right off the bat you are looking for something you probably are not going to get. As a guy do you really think that after two years of the same bullshit I am going to keep going back for more? Even a stupid fucking mouse won’t eat the cheese after it has been shocked one too many times.

Please if you will get off your high horse, because trust me I see it all the time guys talk to girls. I see it all the time, what you are looking at I don’t even know. Your problem is you don’t take the advances like you should. In fact one of the bitches that was in the article thinks of guys as “it.” Meaning she wasn’t sure if “it” was gay, if “it” had a job. I mean really who is being the child here? Just think about that, read what I just wrote then tell me you are not a fucking fool.

And as for girls here thinking guys don’t want to grow up and they are immature. I will say this, I really do see a lot more here than I do in any other place. I mean look around San Francisco is basically an adult play ground, how can you not have some sort of childishness in your life. But there is a line that has to be drawn and most of the guys I know do know when to draw the line and be mature. But if guys are the problem and we are immature then why in the past two plus years of living here have I had a girl break up with me via Myspace email, another lied to me and said she was getting married to a chick only to have me see her a week later with another guy or how about the countless girls that I have gone out with that I actually did like that either never called me back or answered a text? Riddle me that you stupid smelling cunts. Look in the fucking mirror when you criticize someone and I bet you will mostly be upset with yourself.

Your arguments and complaints are totally wrong and I just find it funny that that is really what you think.

I will give you this as well. Think about me for a second, I think I am about average perhaps on the upper end of average. I just got a free trip to the Bahamas that I could not for the life of me fucking give away to a girl that just wanted to go with me that I met up here. Not one taker and I had to put a fucking ad up on craigslist. There I got one chick that never got back to me after telling me she wanted to meet up. Another girl totally gave me an old picture when she was somewhat thin only to have me meet her and be fucking fat. Not to mention that she started treating me like I was her boyfriend and tried to keep me under wraps. The third girl did not have an attractive picture but I still met her because I wanted to see if I could just along with her. Turns out she was better looking in person and we have stuff in common so stay tuned on that. So you tell me.

Like this weekend when I did do out after reading this article I was so fucking pissed off that I decided to prove either myself wrong or the article right so I go to the one place I should not have gone to Murio’s. to my surprise there are girls there and I see two of them, just having read this earlier in the day I thought to myself, alright I guess guys here do not talk to girls, are lame, have nothing to say, have bad jobs and are basically losers. None of those things I think I am, I know I have a good job, I know I am a good person, I know I am funny, I know I am smart. If anything I am looking for a bitch that is similar to me and my likes. So I pick two girls that are talking to each other. I watch for like 15 mins and I notice that no guys are talking to them. So I start to make eye contact with both of them go out to have a smoke, come back in and sit next to them. Within 3 seconds I am talking to them, thinking to myself fuck this article it is wrong and I am right.

As I start I notice that one girl was really shy and didn’t feel like she was ever worth being in a conversation with any guy and the other girl was really drunk. But I forged ahead with the conversation and it was going well, we were going back and forth giving each other shit. Then I asked them their name, they give it to me they don’t ask me for mine. I ask them what they do for work and this is where they stumble and I started to find out a little more information about this whole situation. They go on to tell me that they usually lie about what they do. I ask them why and they tell me that guys find what they do to be intimidating. By this time I am really curious to find out what these two do. Turns out they are both chemists for a petroleum company. I am super pumped up by this because I think it is really cool that they are smart. They were surprised that I didn’t walk away from them and I kept talking to them. They go on to tell me that they will tell guys that they are nurses, teacher, basically anything that they feel is a traditional female job. It was during this part of the conversation that I realized could the article by kind of right?

I quickly remembered I was me and I am never wrong. I then started in on both if these girls and I tell them that they should not be afraid to tell a guy what they really do. Then they start in with the whining that guys don’t like girls that are smarter than they are. I tell them both they are wrong and that I find smart very attractive. I inform them that if a guy thinks what they do is too much for them then that guy is not worth talking to and he is a fucking looser. Now don’t get me wrong even though I am pissed about this article and what girls thing of single straight guys in San Francisco I will say that there are plenty of fucking morons here. But like in any place in the world you should avoid morons at all costs. Is what these girls were doing was lying about themselves right off the bat just in the hopes of getting some dick or possibly a date. Which poses its own problems.

Say you start going out with a guy that you find charming and you don’t tell them what you do for a living. Eventually you will have to tell them and then what will the guy think? I will tell you. If it were me I would be so fucking pissed that a girl had to lie to me about something so stupid I would cut them off at the knees the second I found out the truth. You are fucking setting yourself up for failure. You are also opening the door to get more losers in your life. Why not just be yourself and if it happens it happens if it doesn’t it doesn’t. There is nothing wrong with either. They start to agree with me like they should.

Then as I talk to them more they first told me that they were not able to find good guys that like them for who they really are. So that prompted them to start lying about everything they do and who they are. But then they start to tell me that they don’t want to be in a relationship. OK so you are out looking for a boyfriend but you don’t want to be in a relationship? They were both smart but neither of them could tell me how that made any sense.

When it was all said and done I asked the one girl I was into for her phone number and if she wanted to go out some time. She answered no very quickly. After it was all said and done I was not pissed in fact I felt really good about myself because I had been right. That article was total crap from beginning to end. Girls you are the major problem here. Sure the guys here are a lot softer then they are from where I grew up. But that is fine after all it is San Francisco, what do you expect. But even though they are softer they are still there. There is a guy out there that is easy to find. There is a guy out there that is talking to a girl right now, spitting game only to have the girl have it in her head that she is just going to use the guy for a drink. Girls you are the fucking problem.

You want everything. You want to be a feminist so guys try to accommodate that for you, but then we are too soft. You want a guy that has six pack abs, Oakland is just across the bridge but that won’t work for you because they don’t work for a big corporation. You want a guy that will treat you right but at the first sign you bail out right away and leave us standing there not even knowing why. You want everything and wonder why you can’t find it. I will tell you why, the guy you are looking for does not exist on this planet or if he does there is only one and he is probably taken.

Trust me girls when I say this guys are looking for something a lot simpler then what you are. We are looking for a girl that looks good enough to fuck. Notice what I said, good enough to fuck, that’s it just good enough. If a guy meets you and he finds you attractive in some way he will want to fuck, even if in the process of taking off your clothes he sees a bruise on your leg or a scare, we are still fucking at that point. Trust me.

We are looking for a girl that we can tolerate. We don’t even need a girl that we like everything about, we just one that we enjoy being around enough we don’t get annoyed. That is not too fucking hard. Girls up here are looking for a guy that waits on them hand and fucking foot not matter what they say, they are. Guys don’t want or need that for the most part. I know I just want a girl that is into some of the stuff I am into and doesn’t want me to be or do something I don’t want to do. I think that is a very simple request.

Guys want a girl with a job, that’s it just a job. We don’t give a shit if it is picking up trash or running a multibillion dollar corporation, just have a job. Girls up here want a guy that has the job. You know the job that they can put their other friends down with by trying to over impress. They want a guy that has the type of job that will allow them to do nothing, or at the very least very little.

Do you see the difference between us and why this article was so full of shit. It just reacked of look at me look at me. Again maybe it is because I am just a different cat and maybe a lot of guys are really that why. I can tell you this about me and the friends I keep. We all know who we are. We all know what we want. I find myself not having anything in common with anything they were saying about the guys they were describing. So before you start opening your mouth do what I do. In fact do what any grown up should do. Instead of waking up and pointing the finger at another person why don’t you point the finger at yourself. Do me a favor and when you wake up in the morning look in the mirror and ask yourself if you had done anything wrong. It is always easier to blame other people.

Again, I am not saying that they their complaints are not real. I have been out and I have seen the dumbest lamest mother fuckers. But they seem to always pick up chicks. When they do the chicks are always excited about it, but they know just how fucking lame the dude is. Did they give a shit? Not they don’t, they would rather not care about what they are doing in favor of complaining about it later. So if you want a real man, a man that will go down on you for hours. A man that can fix a toilet and read. A man that can take care of business both at work and in the bed room, you let me know. I will meet up with you and I will show you what’s up. I will show you that you are wrong. But I know you won’t because you don’t even know what the fuck you want. More importantly I know you won’t because you can never be wrong and you know that I will show you how wrong you are.

In short. Fuck you.

Back in the Saddle

Welcome back all of you, or should I say welcome back to me. I know I have been bad about updating my blog, but hey fuck you I have had better things to do with my time. One of which was think about how I can make the blog better. So currently I am working on my YouTube channel, adding more pictures and links to the site on a week to week basis. Also, please don’t hold me to one a week, if I have nothing to say I won’t say it, I hate mother fuckers that just talk to talk. I think the reason people like the blog is because I say shit. I don’t want to give a watered down version of just crap, I want to give you all something you can enjoy. Also, wouldn’t it be better since my blogs are long to enjoy what you are reading instead of just powering through garbage?

Let us go down memory lane share we, I started this blog so people I don’t talk to all the time can get updates on what I am up to. It as good for a while because when I moved to SF I wasn’t able to see or talk to everyone I know all the time, now that is still the case. Lately, well for the past year, when I started being a sales rep instead of the Branch manager I found that my free time was cut down a lot. I also found that after I got home I just didn’t feel like talking to anyone so I didn’t go out for a long time. Shit probably for 8 months total last year I didn’t even go outside, opting to try to pick up girls via the internet, that didn’t work and to play video games. There was even a three month time period that I didn’t go to my beloved Murio’s. So in all honesty did you really want to read about the newest black on white porn I was watching? Perhaps the newest video game conquest? Exactly my point, it was pointless for me to write anything at that time.

So let me give you as brief update, well as brief as I can be. I will start with new years eve. The night started out at our friend Greg’s house. It was nice and mellow, just friends hanging out before we all went and did our own thing. After that I went with John, Greg and my room mate Cheryl to Murio’s. It was a pretty quiet night until Cheryl thought she heard the bar tender nick call her a whore and threw her boot at him. If that wasn’t bad enough she walked behind the bar to try to beat him up. I was asked to escort her out, the best part was when I was leaving I asked the people that were there if they heard anything and they all told me she was crazy and that Nick said nothing like that. The next day was just as interesting as she denied any wrong doing, now being that I live with her I took the highest of the high roads and just agreed with her and asked her if she wanted to get some food. I found this to be a sign pointing in the right direction until the other piece of shit I like with Casey, or as we now call him Gasey invited himself to go. OK, now really who invites themselves to something, or am I the only one that sees a problem with that? Dude seriously there is a reason we don’t invite you to anything we do and it is because we fucking hate you. There is a reason that when you try to strike up a conversation with me I give you the most deadpan looks and say nothing to you and walk away. If you woke up dead tomorrow I would not care, in fact I would probably treat you like a dead pet and put you in a black trash bag and throw you away.

So now that he invited himself to go with us, I quickly called john because there was no way I could do it with just the three of us. John being a good friend comes along, Gasey did invite one of his other friends to go with us. So there we were a total of five of us, Gasey trying to get details of our night which was nothing more than us drinking at two different locations bullshitting with each other. Now since I was stressed out over the boot throwing incident after I closed the bar down I went home and I lay down on my bed, lights on and fully clothed. This is where Gasey earned his name sake, he tells all of us that he saw light in my room and came into my bed room and watched me sleep. To make matter worse he came back in to check on me. Check on me, why? I am fucking sleeping what do you need to check on? Oh yeah that’s right you probably wanted to check to see if I was into you, no. So he is telling us that he was watching me sleep, I stopped eating and my mouth dropped wide open, then he tells me that he was thinking of waking me up. I have my knife in my hand point it at him in front of his friend, a girl by the way that he claims to be into which is just a front because he is to embarrassed to come out and say he is gay which we would not have a problem with at all. I look at him and he has the fucking dumbest smile on his face and I tell him it was a good thing he didn’t wake me up. He asked me why and I simply said very seriously, because I probably would have killed you.

Let us now go into work, I am sure you all know that I hated the Manager I worked with. Only because he was just so dumb he made me look bad. Not only that I was depressed that I worked with a person that stupid. For a while I started to question why I worked with this company because he was so stupid I started feeling bad about myself. To boot, I looked over my numbers for 2009 which is important because my company gives out special awards when you attain a certain level of success. This year is a trip to the Bahamas, all expenses paid for, me plus one adult. One of the conditions of this was I had to beat my budget by 15% which I did easily I ended up doing it by close to 40%. But the other more important condition was that I had to sell at least 600k worth of stuff for the year. I ended the year with 599, 750. Leave it to me to not accept that and I started looking at my numbers very closely and I found out why. Because Byron was dumber then I could ever imagine, he failed to put four customers under my name like he was supposed to also he failed to collect on a COD customer for the entire month of December.

Knowing this, I gave a call to my boss who wanted this guy gone to, gave him what went down and he made the call to LP. After some interviews with me and him, where he tried to blame everything on me LP recommended to my boss that we not get rid of him. My boss who wanted to get rid of him convinced this guy to resign and there you go, he did. Because of the situation I ended up getting the trip, however I now do believe in karma for a few reasons. One being that the part timer broke his ankle and can’t come back to work for over a month, which means I spend three days sitting at the office bored out of my skull. The other is because during December and January I was dating a chick and she did something that I can’t fucking stand.

So I told you that I was again trying to pick up girls via the internet, and getting nowhere. Just as I was about to just say fuck it doesn’t work. Mostly because I can’t make myself sound good like other people can so when you read my profile it sounds so fucking dry and lifeless, just like me. But this girl Tia, I started talking to in October and I wasn’t sure if we would get along or what would happen so I do something I never do. I decided to not even force the issue and we would talk here and there and as the weeks went by we talked more and more until I thought we were both sure we would like each other. So we start dating, fucking cool chick, I got along with her really well I found her sexy, all that good stuff. Shit was going well at least I thought. This was until the day she flaked out on me, she invited me to her house for a lunch that she was going to make for me. Our idea was just to have a very mellow day together before she left on a business trip to DC. I then get the text, and that was how I know she meant nothing ever, because really if you like someone and you talk to them all the time are you going to send them a text to cancel? No you are going to call them and tell them what’s up. But no I get a text that simply said she was sorry but her boss called her to an emergency meeting on Sunday before they went to DC but that we were just putting it off until the next weekend. So while I was sitting at the bar talking for the first time about this girl I get this text. The bar tender looks at me, I look at him and we both knew what was up. Meanwhile Travis was trying to say maybe she was telling the truth. HA!

So I let it slide knowing that she had probably either gotten back with one of her exs or met some buff black dude at the guy with a 13” cock and felt it was more adult to send a text putting it off. I knew that as soon as I got that text, I knew it because I have been there so many other times before. So I wait and over the next week I send her two text messages, one asking her about her trip and the other wishing her a happy birthday. She failed to get back to me on either. Now the thing that fucked me up the most was that I was going to take her to the Bahamas with me. So I guess she lost out, not only do I eat pussy like a champion and fuck dirty but now I also have a free bad ass vacation with an open bar. All I have to say about this whole thing is fuck that bitch and I was only slightly bummed out for two days and got on with my life like she didn’t mean anything at all.

But again I was left not knowing who I would bring to the Bahamas with me. It was told to me by a few people I work with to not bring a guy friend with me. When I asked why they all told me it would look odd. My first thought after Tia, was to bring my friend Justin, his birthday would be the week before so it would be a good gift and we are both single and would help each other out to get some pussy while we were down there. My second thought was to bring a homeboy from work, I get along with him just as good as Justin, he is single and we would both try to fuck and herpes free bitch we wound on that island that was willing. Plus I work with him and he had never been on a trip like this, so I figured it would be a cool gesture. But no, everyone was telling me no, so I did the next best thing that I could, I called my friend Simon.

Simon, works at a PR firm as is a fucking genius when it comes to writing and making things sound awesome. So I give him bullet points, take a new picture and our Craig’s List add was born. It was the slickest ad ever, and through it I got two real responses, one girl was thin in her picture and fat in real life. Which I started asking myself the question, can Photoshop please be more expensive to less people have access to it, I still got two knuckles deep. I mean really I am not bringing some bitch from craigslist on a five day trip with me, as my boss told me I would fuck her once and get bored with her then be stuck for a few days. As a matter of fact I was going to add the link to the craigslist ad and I noticed a new response to the ad, my dick will get wet from this.

Bottom line I decided to bring my work homeboy Carlos, because we do work together, he is my tech rep so helps me out when I need it. And we would have a good time. It was hard telling Justin that I was not going to take him. But we have planned either a Cabo or Hawaii trip, so we will have fun. Plus there is always Comic Con. He will need to step his game up though, he did destroy a chick last year, but god damn she was ugly. I really don’t know how he was able to stay hard. As a matter of fact hey fucked her while I pretended to be asleep. Fucking hilarious. I guess this guy has a huge dick because when he whipped it out she straight up said “oh my god, that is huge.” To me the surprising this was not that he was able to fuck her but that he fucked her like a champ, I mean he fucked her like it mattered, like she was Megan Fox and he had one chance to show her what’s up. So he can’t finish and ends up face fucking her, so here I am trying not to laugh because this went on for like an hour, and the sound of her head getting blasted against the wall and him spraying her face down and getting it all over the walls was almost too much to take.

Lames

Oh were to begin this one. Should I start off by a full update of my second date? Perhaps again going over what a total bitch the guy I work with is? Or maybe just maybe I will talk about my time in Tennessee for Thanksgiving? Hum, decisions decisions. I think I will start with what makes me the most upset, my new roommate.

I am not going to go into the details as to why there is now a third person in my equation, just know that there is and the deal I have is that my shit has to stay the same and this person will have to go in a few months. Of course we don’t tell that person this because we want to rent out the other room. I am not sure a lot of you out there have had the pleasure of having to find a new roommate but it is strange. First off, we use craigslist so you never know what you are going to get. Everyone really wants the place so they lie and it is up to us to figure it all out. Is what we do is we give a small description of our place and of us and we see who takes the time to give thoughtful answers and ask a few people to check out the place. Pretty standard operation procedure if you ask me.

So when we look for people you see them for the first time. This was a few months ago so I don’t remember the order in which we saw people, one of the first people was a dude from Oakland. We usually offer people water or something to make them feel at home, but homebody had herpes on his face so that was done. In which case we decided that he would not be a good fit because if he accidentally used the wrong toothbrush we would be fucked. Then after like five people we came across a person that we felt would fit in nicely. And by nicely I mean a person that we can get rid of and not feel bad. A few of you have been to my place and we keep it pretty clean and we are pretty standard about cleaning up after yourself.

Move in day comes and the guy had his friends moving shit for him. No problem there, the problem starts when he has way to much shit and will not get rid of it. He plays this game were he will ask us if we have something and we say yes we do, then will tell us that he has a nice version of it. listen up pal, you ask us if we have something we do, we don’t need your shit so too fucking bad you have it put it in a fucking box. But no, every fucking day I see a bag of kitchen utensils looking right at me when I wake up in the morning. When will he put it away? I don’t know your guess is as good as mine.

Then there was the box of shit he left at the top of the stairs right in front of my closet. Now I am the type of person that I just expect people to pick up on shit and yes I know moving is hard but you have to have a place for everything. So I don’t say anything for the first few days. But every day I come home from work thinking that it will be taken care of and it’s not. Finally I had to do the only thing I could, I came up the stairs when I knew he was home and yelled who’s fucking box is out here and that I am about to throw it away. That night it was put away.

Then came my cups. I have one really bad habit which is I leave cups in my room. I know this about myself so I have had these cheap plastic cups I use for just that reason. They have been in the same spot since the day I moved in. They are easy because they stack up and don’t take a lot of room. Now while my main roommate was gone this dick decides now is the time to rearrange everything to make room for all of his shit. Which meant that for some reason my cups got moved. Now they didn’t get moved an inch or two they got moved into the pantry. Why? I am still trying to figure this out. All I know is that was the final straw. Now for people that know me the easiest way to freak me out is to move my stuff around. This was it. Not only did he move my cups but this fucking guy had so many cups that they could not fit on the cup shelf so he just decided to start spilling them into the plates.

But here is the worst fucking thing about this guy. He fucking talks a lot. He buts into conversations that I am having and just keeps fucking talking. He always starts things off with “what up kids?” which is as annoying as it sounds. My conversations with him go like this, he starts asking me what I am up too, I just look at him and say nothing. He keeps going on and I say nothing then walk away. He will complain that the toilet is running and somebody needs to fix it. As I am standing there I am just looking at him and I could not help myself but to tell him to get off his ass and fucking fix it himself. I seriously wish he was dead.

Now on to another annoying sack of shit, Byron. This guy now has it in his head that he is smarter than I am. Dude a fucking stray dog is smarter than you are, they at least know they are all but dead and walk on train tracks waiting for a train to take them out. His new thing is that he wants to try to get my boss and me fired. Why do you ask? I will tell you why because we both think he is a dumb mother fucker and doesn’t like that we are so much better than he is. He also wants to move up into the sales job that I have so he can make more money. Listen up pal, fuck you. I stay up at night thinking of the dumb ass shit that he tells me every day and how I can get rid of him.

Every day I hear from customers how much they hate him and the only reason they buy from us is because of me. Now if this guy wants me out fine, he needs to grow a ball sack and tell me to my face. I will gladly ask to leave. But he is so smart he doesn’t realize that in my entire company I have put the most new dollars than any other sales rep and he is a stupid fuck dime a dozen retard thinking he has power. So if you were my company would you rather keep a sales rep that put in new business while at the same time clean up his mess to keep current customers or would you rather get rid of that rep and replace a manager that you can find off the streets? But then again he is just that smart. Honestly I am getting the point of annoyance and not being able tolerating him to the point that I am going to ask to either transfer me or him, I just can’t do it and keep myself sane on a day to day basis.

Plus you dumb ass lives in a van. You work for a fortune 300 company and you live in a van, please.

Now what is better then a first date? A second of course. Except this second date I realized just how fucking self absorbed people really are and more important just how dumb they can be. So this bitch calls me up. Now mind you she should be doing whatever I want. I am sexy and she is ugly and she knows this. Basically I am way too good for her. But she is cool and we are into some of the same stuff. So I get a call last Saturday from her telling me she doesn’t want to date. My reaction to this was that’s fine. Which is really is, I was talking with my friend Phil a few weeks ago and there comes a point in your life when you don’t date enough and you don’t have enough relationships that you truly stop caring. I am now at that point. It is not a big deal to me anymore.

So she gets pissed that I am just so apathetic to her telling me this. When really why should I care, I went out with you once, nothing happened we don’t owe each other anything. Then she decides she wants to come over. Again I tell her I don’t care if she does or does not. She comes and we go to Murio’s, that way I can bail out at any time I want. We really start to talk and she realizes just how fucking amazing I am but at the same time I realize just how stupid she is. And by stupid, maybe not totally stupid, immature for sure and close to being certifiable.

She just starts talking on random bullshit all night long and I got to the point that I wanted some entertainment from this situation. She confesses that she is a chronic liar and that she needs people around her to be fucked up so that she can fix problems. Listen bitch and listen good. How the fuck can you fix other people problems when you can’t even see your own? Not only that you can’t even admit that you have any, when clearly you have more issues than four normal people do. So for a few hours she is drinking, I have two beers because I don’t drink a lot. I just let her ramble on and on because she likes the sound of her own voice.

After a while I just get tired of it and ask the door man to sit with us, or more me so I have someone to bullshit with. It was great seeing the crushed look on her face like she was not interesting enough for me. Which sorry you are not. I watch her spend live $60 bucks on herself and she starts to tell me that she doesn’t want a boyfriend. And I just look at her and tell her that’s fine then don’t have one. She also goes on to say that guys are useless and sex is lame.

Hold on a second, sex is lame? No bitch you are fucking lame. She is trying to convince me for a hour that a dildo is just as good as a cock. Alright I will give you this they probably get you off a lot easier then a dick will and you can buy them in different sizes. But why oh why are dildos not enough for basically every girl in the world? That’s right they are not as good. Such a fucking stupid argument and I did call her out on it and told her that she just thinks so little of herself that she thinks she can’t get a guy so she is in the process of convincing herself that a dildo will solve all of her problems. The silence was only awkward for her.

After that she wanted to leave and I watched her almost fall over several times to her car. At which time she told me that she really likes me which I responded sorry you told me that you don’t want to be in a relationship and that dicks are useless. She then tried to kiss me in which I moved my face. I then watched her get in her car and drive drunk.

This brings me to my point I guess. In fact this time I don’t have a point I am just writing tonight. But overall people are fucking really stupid and useless. Everyone wants everything. People now have this sense of entitlement that I just don’t understand. You have a roommate that thinks other people don’t live with him. You have a the person you work with that is just so painfully stupid and useless, yet they think they can do a better job than a person that is killing it. You have girls that have no fucking idea what they want so they build o a life which is a total lie. What the fuck is going on?

I am sick and tired of putting lames on blast and that is all I seem to be doing. No longer do I talk about me going out. No now all I seem to do is talk about people that annoy me to the point they dominate my thought process. I am not talking about fun stuff anymore, this ends. I can’t fucking do this anymore. Next one I write I will talk about my trip to Tennessee because you know I have some great things to say about that and my thoughts might actually entertain this time around.

Fight On

I write this one with a bruised ass check, I am working through the pain in order to bring you entertainment for the week. You might be asking yourself why my ass is bruised and you know I will break it down for you. Saturday night fresh off a hot date, first one in months for me. the date went well, girl is cool, looking to get a second more details to come in the future. After the date was over things went down hill from there. Since she came to my part of town we stayed local and when she left I noticed I was right across the street from Murio’s and decided I will go in for a drink and to bullshit with the door man and bar keep.

It is always good when I walk into that place, I have been going there for so long now that I am just known and I know the mainstays. After a long day of work or whatever I find it fun to go to a place that I feel comfortable. This Saturday was really slow and something odd was in the air. I noticed two people that have been going out for a while that work at the pizza place down the street in the middle of a heated argument and was a little bummed out by that. I didn’t get involved none of my business and when I walk in I am greeted by Dave the Doorman, one of the coolest guys I have met. Talk for a few then I get my drink.

Since it was slow I go out to have a smoke with Dave and we drink our beers at the door so he can check IDs. And when I say it was slow I mean slow, there was probably like 15 people in the place. Oh I failed to mention that someone got the great idea of putting a DJ in the back. Now I have issue with that because when I go there I want to hear punk music and have it be loud. With a DJ spinning classic soul hits it brought in a new crowd. The usual crowd there are in jeans and leather jackets, that night you had the normal crowd at the bar and dude with half way buttoned shirts cutting up rug in the back. Really not the standard for that place which is known to be a rough bar, perfect for likes to fight guy.

Dave and I are sitting there minding our own business when a rugby player and his friend come in. Dave, doing his job asks for ID the rugby guy was cool with it but his extremely drunk friend felt that he didn’t have to show ID. Before there could be an argument another asshole runs outside with an open beer so Dave runs after him to tell him he can’t have that. In the time he was gone the drunk guy looks at me and starts cussing Dave out behind his back. Now being that I am cool with Dave this rubbed me the wrong way. So I have words with the guy while the rugby guy is like oh no my friend is going to get killed tonight. Rugby guy was cool and mediated nicely and because he was cool about the whole thing when Dave came back in nothing happened. but the drunk guy could not leave well enough alone.

Right before they were going to leave drunk guy looks at me and tells me that I am the type of guy that he would jack off in my face. By this time rugby guy grabs his friend and starts to walk him out. Truth be told I am afraid of rugby guy because they feel no pain much like a retard and didn’t want to fight drunk guy for fear that rugby guy would kill me. See I know my limits and I do my best to put myself in winnable situations. At that point all Dave and I could do was laugh. Rugby guy was apologizing for his friend a lot and walked him. It was all good, the guy was drunk and not worth anything so they left. Dave and I have a good laugh after they bailed out.

Not even five minutes after they leave a dude with his girl come in and Dave asked for ID. The guy waves Dave off and was really rude about it. I mean come on, when a person that works at a bar asks for ID just fucking show it, this guy had to be all hard core. By the way he was fucking huge, his legs were as big as my waist. Dave gets up and gets between the big guy and the bar and tells him that he needs ID before they can be in there. The guy starts to question Dave asking who he was, Dave just says that he is the doorman. The guy pushes him aside and walks right up to the bar. Now the bartender Nicky is watching the whole thing and is rolling his eyes. Like he will let the guy buy a beer at that point, he wouldn’t even check the guy’s ID. A small argument starts up, the buff guy is claiming that is was racist and shit like that he was just trying to start trouble.

Now everyone I have this to has asked me if the guy was drunk. No he was not, he was a calm as can be he just didn’t a shit. He did get pissed a few times and would tell Dave to fuck off and shit like that. Things were getting a little bit testy and I can see that is was going to get out of control because the guy just didn’t care about anything other then getting what he wanted which was a beer without showing ID. At this point Nicky comes from behind the bar to try and calm the situation down. Dave was also doing his best to talk to the guy but after Nick got from behind the bar he just starts cussing at everyone and pushes Dave. At that point he was asked to leave but doesn’t want to. Instead he gets into Dave’s face and tells him that he is going to beat the shit out of him. I can see Dave getting a massive adrenaline rush because he was shaking not because he was scared but because he was getting ready to go with the guy. Now Dave is the same size as I am and this guy was fucking buff as fuck but he still didn’t back down.

Nick sensing that things were getting out of hand tells the guy he has to leave and there are plenty of other bars on the street he can go to. The guy gets even more pissed and again tells Dave he was going to beat his ass and pushes him. At that time I get up because the guy was so pissed at both of them that maybe if a random person got up he would calm down, wrong. After a few minutes he tells them that he was going to leave and starts towards the door. Dave and Nick are following him from behind to make sure he leaves. At this point they do not have their hands on him even after the guy pushed Dave, I am standing off to the side but kind of in the middle of it and he starts to walk out. Just before he gets to the door he turns around.

One last time he turns around but this time he pushes Dave again. Dave gets up in his face and starts to move him out of the bar at which point the guy tries to head but Dave glances at him turns to Nicky and pushes him into the door. All three of us then get the guy and start to aggressively get him out of the building. Once we get him to the door the guy starts to throw punches and we all use our energy to push the guy as far as we can from the bar. Well he was so big and strong that the push caught him off guard and grabs all of us at the same time as he is going down. We all go flying from the door to the curb. I bounce off the pile and hit the side of a car but as I hit the ground I look at the struggle and start to get back up because the guy was not staying down. But just as I get up another dude from inside runs out and gets the guy in a headlock and I grab my phone and call the cops.

For the short time I am on the ground I noticed that someone was bleeding and there was blood everywhere but didn’t think too much of it at the time. As I am on the phone they get the guy up from the ground and pin him up against a car. I am on the phone trying to keep calm, giving the lady the address, my name and what went down. Less than a minute later a cop car pulls up and three more follow, they come running out and separate all the people. Dave at this point is standing right next to me covered in blood. Then we notice that his head is busted wide open and we are all covered in his blood. The car was also a bloody mess but Dave was really messed up. The entire left side of his face was bloody, his clothes soaked in blood. I have blood on my clothes and on my arms. The cops are looking over Dave and ask him if he is alright, he keeps saying that he is but I tell him that he needs stitches and the cops agree so they call in the ambulance.

It was at this point in time that the buff guy looks at Dave and tells him that he is bleeding and wants to know how. We all start yelling at the guy who is trying to play it off like he did nothing wrong and walks over to Dave. The cops are doing a great job at this point as they let the guy walk right up to Dave until they realize what is going on and they all get on him. I mean really dude how the fuck do you think he got covered in blood could it have been because we had to throw you out of a bar and you decided to start throwing punches at us? Could it be that we all hit the curb or a car or the parking meter or all of the above. Fucking dumbass.

Now the ambulance arrived and we have to take off our shirts so they can hose us down because we all had blood on us. They check Dave out and it looked like he had a concussion and they put a neck brace on him. He gets taken away on a stretcher and the only thing I could do was give the paramedics my number because I am the only one that was involved that lives in SF and if he needed a ride home to call me.

After all the dust settled I drank more than what I planned on and we were all pissed. Meanwhile the half unbuttoned shirt people were having a great time because they go to this place for the first time and they see action and I start talking to a few other people. The buff guy gets cuffed and taken away.

So I am not in a good mood at this point, I am really pissed. So I am going to break down bars for all you people that go. Do not fuck with the doorman, if he asks for ID just fucking give it. do not fuck with the bartender, he won’t serve you drinks if you do. Most importantly if you are asked to leave take it like a fucking man and walk. Now buff guy is in jail he is going to have assault charges thrown against him, he is going to have to prove against ten other people who all saw the same thing. Hopefully Dave sues the fuck out of the guy causing him to loose they job he has having to wear a paper hat standing over greasy burgers making $8 an hour. All because you won’t show an ID. Now I am willing to bet that girl got wet in her pants and can’t wait for the guy to get out so she cam fuck his dick off which is sick for so many reasons.

I help close down the bar and walk home in a bad mood. This also sucks because I just don’t have the energy to write about the other stuff that happened to me this week. How I bought a new phone and will be posting short video clips on you tube. I can’t tell you the great time I had on Sunday and a bum sat at our table and started eating our food. How two drunk guys that just got done with a nacho eating contest started to pick up on my room mate. Sorry, maybe next week

A Slow Dive

There is a reason I decided not to write the Blog until today. I am going to touch on a serious topic for once. Namely the Goth club I went to last Monday. Now for those who don’t know me all that well I think goth chicks when they are not fat are super fucking hot and I do like a lot of the music so naturally a club that has what I want is the way to go. A little over a month ago my boy Seamus told me about this goth club here in SF and that I should go. Now I am a veteran of goth clubs having been to almost all that southern cal has to offer, basically the only one in Phoenix so I know what is good and what is bad.

After a month of telling Seamus that I would go I finally decided that I was going to go last week. But I started to think of every goth club I have been to and the fact that the bathroom is not a place you want to find yourself unless you want to have a dude proposition you to suck your dick or seeing people shoot heroine. I am into neither. So I decided to try and take a shit before I went even though I didn’t have to go. I mean seriously think about it, it is quite one thing to take a piss because you can shield your cock and cover your ass from attacks from behind. But taking a shit is quite another. Imagine your taking a shit on a toilet that probably has crusty seaman lining it, the door won’t lock and someone walks right in mid shit. I would say a fairly awkward situation to find yourself in. So I sit on my toilet for like 15 minutes and don’t shit and I figure I must not have to go and can hold it for two hours if I did have to go, plus I have been dropping think loads not that loose shit that always gets you wondering.

Satisfied with myself I get in my car and leave. Show up to the club which is only like ten minutes from my house find a good parking spot pay my five bucks to get in and get my hand stamped for reentry. Thinking to myself that Seamus was going to be there in part because he has been going and mostly because he told me he was going to go because I was there. Now every goth club has a black velvet entry point, this was no different what was different was that there were literally three people on the dace floor dancing alone and about 17 people total in the place. I go walking around trying to find Shea, can’t find him. The DJ is playing some good tunes so I am into it and am going to give it a good try. That was until that shit I tried to take 45 minutes before finally decided to show up. I started to survey the floor and noticed two dudes in fishnet walking into the bathroom at the same time. In retrospect now that I am writing this down I should have gone in just so I could have something more to say but staying true to myself I left and went home. I could not shit, five dollars wasted.

Now me going out is a function of the past four or five months where I have not really left the house and my life was basically, work, getting pissed at co-workers and trying to keep myself occupied at home. I was basically snapping because one of the last times I went out I went to Murio’s and met a chick. Now this was not a girl that you are proud of in fact I wanted nothing to do with her and was with my friend John. Together we came up with the term Buffalo Solider, referring to a guy that fucks a Buffalo Girl a term for an unfuckable girl. Now the game is only fun if other people play it and I should not say unfuckable because unfuckable is just that unfuckable, no matter how many drinks you have they are still just unfuckable. A Buffalo Girl is more a girl that you feel ashamed of after the fact, like you did just to do it because you know you could. Basically the other people that are hip to this term do not fuck Buffalos and I am the reigning champion.

At Murio’s this fateful night I am with my friend John after we had gotten done practicing and there she was. The absolute definition of a Buffalo Girl. John, looks at me and confirms if that is one and I tell him that if he scored that he will become champion. So John spits his lame ass game and she ends up sitting down next to me together we start singing Murder City Devils songs and start talking. Cool chick. John decides to bail out and to her that was a sign that I wanted to fuck. So she kept buying me drinks until close and the more I drank the more I started focusing on the one attractive thing about her. So I keep looking at her fingernails and I start to think damn those are some hot finger nails, this was the beginning of the end.

Last call hits I am out on the streets she is still talking to me every place is closed and she needs some water. Being that I am a nice guy I let her know I live around the corner and I can hook her up with some water. We get back to my pad I get her the water and she wants to tour. I quietly show her around, show her the living room, my TV room then open the door to my bedroom. She grabs my cock and starts making out with me. By this time I am drunk and the affection has me all boned up. She throws me on my bed, takes off all my clothes and avalanches me. I don’t remember anything past that point because I basically blacked out. I was so fucking drunk I was done.

There is nothing like waking up the next morning not even hung over to find an unfuckable sleeping right next to you. I quietly get up and get into the shower, using the luffa I am really trying to scrub myself clean. I get ready for work and wake her up and tell her I have to go, she gets her stuff and bails out. The second she bails I start destroying my room looking for any type of love glove, nothing. The entire day I am totally freaked the fuck out. This was a few weeks before Comic Con and really I was terrified for what ended up being months because of this. Waiting for the “I’m pregnant” phone call that never came. More so I was totally ashamed which is hard for me to get, but damn I felt horrible about myself for like five months. Now you all know why I have not been going out, that one night freaked me out fucking badly.

Fast forward to this week.

I drive a lot for work and I live in San Francisco so there are a lot of HIV and AIDS awareness posters everywhere. The more I keep driving the more I seem to see and the more I seem to see the more I start to think I had one of the two. Slowly I start to think more and more about it until last week I had enough I just needed to know. Last Wednesday I call the doctors office and make an appointment for that day to get fully tested for everything.

They naturally ask you questions. Why do you want to take this test? Well I slept with real fucked up girls. Do you have any sores on your penis? No. Does it hurt when you urinate? No. On and on they go asking questions partly because they want to know what type of tests to give you but I for one think they are measuring your chances in their head judging you.. after the questions they decide that I will not need the q tip up my dick hole and that a piss test would be just fine. I did a cartwheel over that. Then right before she sends me downstairs to give blood I ask her how long the test takes, she tells me two weeks which I was all freaked out about. Then she tells me that clean tests often take a day or two. Downstairs I go give my blood.

Friday, I am back at the doctors for a routine physical thinking to myself well if I am clean then they should have it, it has been two days. Nothing. On my walk home the only thing I can think about was her telling me that it takes one or two days if it is clean and that it had been two days and they had nothing. This made for a fucking great weekend.

I sit around trying to keep myself occupied and I really start to think that this is it that it is over or was it? I really started putting some legitimate thought into this. I started to think what is so bad? Think about it you get to die young and not get old man sagging balls. I am sure there are groups and shit that you can go to meet chicks, I mean at that point who really gives a fuck about anything and I am sure these chicks would be down to fuck like crazy. I basically convinced myself that had HIV/AIDS but still for about six days I was the most religious person in the world. I even bought one of those candles Mexicans buy at the (( cents store, you know the one with either Jesus or the Virgin Mary, I am now the proud owner of one.

Monday, I give a call to the doctors office to see if my results were in, nothing. All day today I am just fucking twisting hard core, then I get the phone call that the results were in but I had to come in. I start to think why do I have to come in if I am clean? Wouldn’t they only want you in if you had something so you can start talking about was you can live with it. Oh perhaps they put you in an AIDS database branding you for life. After that call I was really fucked up. But being that I am at work and had something to do I did finish what I had then went right home and played FIFA 10 for about a hour until I made the long walk to the doctors.

I sign in and pay my $20 copay for the third time in less than a week and they sit me in this room. I sat there for a while shaking and shit. The doctors comes in, scratch that barely opens the door and tells me I am fine all clear. I wasn’t even relieved I was more pissed that I just paid $20 bucks. Really if I have to come in and I am all good can’t you just fucking tell me in a room? Oh that’s right the medical field is fucking corrupt and all they want is you money.

Yes, I am free of all STDs and I am happy about that and I have come up with two new rules. First one, always wear a bag. Second, stop fucking whores. Third and most important of the all I will no longer meet girls and fuck girls that I meet at Murio’s ever again. You might ask why? Very easy one reason is that it is very difficult to not find a girl that does not fall into my second rule. Most importantly it is my bar and I really don’t want to see them again. It ruins my bar for me and I have no place to go to twice a week to bullshit.

Even though I was feeling down I still did go out for Halloween. I did keep it low key and went to Murio’s. I must tell you it was fun but I was so fucked up I was not having a good time. That and the fact that the dyke chick was there looking good. Yes, the same dyke chick that told me she was getting married to a chick. The same stupid cunt that was the topic of one of my last blogs. Well she was there, I am feeling like shit. The sight of her smiling having a good time made me feel worse. We accidentally saw each other and I keep it cool with one of those head nods. I did see her with some lame dude that she knows that is a closet faggot but no wife? Wait a minute, you mean to tell me that you are such a cunt that you can’t even tell me the truth, I bet there was no girl that she just didn’t like me which is fine.

I go outside to have a cigarette with Doorman Dave and she sends this dude out to talk to me. “Mary Ellen wants to know how you are doing?” Dude what the fuck is she going to write me a note that asks if I am mad at her with a box for no and a box for yes? Fuck just come out and talk to me. I do have to give her some credit she knew that I was looking good that night and I would blow her off. Lesson to all don’t fuck with me because I will fuck you back slowly and painfully until I decide I have hurt you 100 times more than you hurt me.

In short fuck you go eat some hairy cot and stay the fuck out of my fucking bar.