Really?

I start this one out of a place of pure anger, which if you know me probably does not surprise you at all. It doesn’t help that I just got done seeing The Hurt Locker win every Academy Award except for Best Actor, the one I thought it should have won for. Really? Are you fucking kidding me, that movie was good but it was not the best picture of the year, not by a long shot. Again I think the Academy is trying to make up for one of their biggest mistakes by not having There Will Be Blood win, a movie that I like more and more every time I see it. Really watch both movies and I am telling you they are both so similar with the character driven stories they both had, to bad Daniel Plainfield was fucking awesome. Anyways, there is another reason I am upset today, in fact I have been pissed off about this since yesterday.

As I do every Saturday that I am in town, I wash my clothes and call my Grandparents for my weekly updates. But what do I do to kill time when I cannot get them on the phone? Well I came across the SF Weekly, similar the LA Weekly or OC Weekly, it has an article about something that very few people care about and will tell you upcoming events in the city for people who care. But this one was different right off the bat, there was a comic book style drawing of a girl with the headline “Girl Game” and was about females not being able to get guys in SF. “Oh really?” I thought to myself. Let me see what these cunts have to say.
Before I go any further I am not going to put any quotes from the article, I am too lazy and I don’t want to justify the significance of the article beyond that it was one of the worst things I have ever read. However, if you want to read if for yourself be my guest http://www.sfweekly.com/2010-03-03/news/girl-game/

For those lazy like myself I will first give you a synopsis of the article. Women apparently cannot find guys in San Francisco, they claim that they are unsure if a guy is gay or not, guys do not approach them and that because of the culture of San Francisco guys feel they do not have to grow up. So the person who wrote this article had been hearing similar things being said by her girlfriends and decided to get a pick up artist to teach a small group of women how to pick up guys. The idea was that if guys are not going to pick up girls then girls should pick up guys. The article also does some sort of math to equate that there are 60k single guys in SF and 68k women. Their figure did take into account gays, lesbians and married people, so I did kind of buy that number.

So these women meet this English guy who goes by the avatar “Soul” and admittedly he really doesn’t know what to do with the girls. That guys are a different breed and that we are turned on by different things. It basically came down to pumping these women up to the point that they would just stand next to a guy and talk to them and see where it goes. Only one of them had any type of mild success when she was talking to one of the pickup artists who was helping out Soul.

Also, dudes I am going to give you a special message right now. Actually it is not all that special. I am pretty sure your mom when you came out of her pussy gave you a name. fucking use your name ok? Really this is fucking stupid, fucking “Soul?” how fucking gay is that. Really step back and look at yourself and say to yourself “do I really tell girls my name is Soul?” if you answer yes, you are a fucking loser. I cannot put it any plainer then that. Now if you pay to go to a class on how to pick up girls you are a loser of the highest order. I will tell you right now how to pick up girls, I know it works because I took two confussed kids last summer and they became pimps in front of my eyes. It is very easy and in no way cheesy.

Are you ready because you should take out your note pads right now. This is what you do. You do not, come up with some silly ass name for yourself, you go with the name that you have on your driver’s license. You don’t come up with any bullshit line to strike up a conversation. You don’t dress up in any funny way that is outside of how you usually dress. You do with what you have and only what you have. Think of it like camping old school, there you have a knife and the knowledge to make a fire. Wait for it…

You first scan the room for a girl that strikes your eye. You decide what girl you are going to talk to. Once you decide you walk up to her, introduce yourself and ask her what her name is. After that you go from there and ask questions. Remember you have two ears and one mouth, so listen twice as much as you fucking talk. Especially since girls like hearing the sound of their own voice this is critical for success. Do not offer to buy a drink right away, instead try to have a conversation with the girl. If the conversation is lame and she is lame, if you guys are not going to click fucking bail out and move on to the next girl. If you do find yourself in a good conversation then offer to buy a drink. Do you see how simple that is?

So back to these bitches, they all go out after meeting Soul and they try to pick up dudes. Two of them right away say the guys they were going for were gay. They have no proof, they don’t even ask they just assume. Then they claim one success story when one of the girls started talking to one of the pick up artist’s. Ok, really you claim success at all? Dude the bitch held hands with a guy that is a PICK UP ARTIST, that is what he does is pick up chicks. So congratulations to you and your family, you won. But the real reason you won is because I am writing about this now and you will probably have more hits on your stupid fucking article then you ever imagined. So I accept your thanks in advance.

Why I am so upset is because these stupid cunts, like all cunts blame everything on men. Really, it is all our fault? Is what first bothered me was that they claim there are no good guys and guys will not talk to them. I know for a fact this is bullshit because I fucking talk to girls any time I am out and you know what happens? Nothing, nothing at all. I get no phone numbers, I get no dates, and I get nothing. I even keep going with a conversation with a girl I don’t like at all just on the off chance I am wrong about her. But still I get nothing. And you know what I am not the only that gets nothing out of it, all of my guy friends except for Simon get nothing. Let me also clarify that I am not even talking about sex this time, I am talking about a phone number of even a day date, we get nothing and we try. So fuck you, we try.

As for there are no good guys out there. I know that all my girl friends that I have not had sex with would say I am one of the best guys they know. I am cool, funny, good looking and have a good job. So when they say that they cannot find any good ones I really don’t know what they mean by that. Tell me what is good? Don’t worry I will wait. Or is it you don’t fucking know what you are looking for so you blame guys for your stupidness. I would bet a million bucks you are the problem.

They also say that because of the culture in San Francisco guys here don’t grow up. They try to sound smart by saying that because guys usually live with roommates they tend to always keep that forever young I’m still in college vibe. Could it be that rent is too expensive for one person to live? No that can’t be it at all. Also, by your logic 90% of the girls in this fucking town are all grown up and live by themselves? Dude if I was a standup comic I could just say that one line, walk off the stage and be forever a legend. They are basically saying that most of the guys here have Peter pan syndrome, if you don’t know what that is I will tell you. It is a fake term made up by some Jew to give a reason why some guys don’t want to grow up. But the term was made more for guys that really can’t function beyond 6th grade and are forever trapped in that time.

Here is my take on this whole thing, being that I am a guy and I know what you are talking about is total fucking shit. You are the problem not us. The girls here seem to have this crazy sense of entitlement. They want everything all the time and I don’t care who you are, you can’t give everything all the time. Girls here are looking for something that does not exist, they want a doctor or a lawyer, basically a rich guy that looks awesome. How many of those guys do you think there are? Also, news flash that guy is going out with the dumbest bitches that they can parade around town to show off to their friends. Or they buy a pro for the weekend. They are not coming for you, trust me. So right off the bat you are looking for something you probably are not going to get. As a guy do you really think that after two years of the same bullshit I am going to keep going back for more? Even a stupid fucking mouse won’t eat the cheese after it has been shocked one too many times.

Please if you will get off your high horse, because trust me I see it all the time guys talk to girls. I see it all the time, what you are looking at I don’t even know. Your problem is you don’t take the advances like you should. In fact one of the bitches that was in the article thinks of guys as “it.” Meaning she wasn’t sure if “it” was gay, if “it” had a job. I mean really who is being the child here? Just think about that, read what I just wrote then tell me you are not a fucking fool.

And as for girls here thinking guys don’t want to grow up and they are immature. I will say this, I really do see a lot more here than I do in any other place. I mean look around San Francisco is basically an adult play ground, how can you not have some sort of childishness in your life. But there is a line that has to be drawn and most of the guys I know do know when to draw the line and be mature. But if guys are the problem and we are immature then why in the past two plus years of living here have I had a girl break up with me via Myspace email, another lied to me and said she was getting married to a chick only to have me see her a week later with another guy or how about the countless girls that I have gone out with that I actually did like that either never called me back or answered a text? Riddle me that you stupid smelling cunts. Look in the fucking mirror when you criticize someone and I bet you will mostly be upset with yourself.

Your arguments and complaints are totally wrong and I just find it funny that that is really what you think.

I will give you this as well. Think about me for a second, I think I am about average perhaps on the upper end of average. I just got a free trip to the Bahamas that I could not for the life of me fucking give away to a girl that just wanted to go with me that I met up here. Not one taker and I had to put a fucking ad up on craigslist. There I got one chick that never got back to me after telling me she wanted to meet up. Another girl totally gave me an old picture when she was somewhat thin only to have me meet her and be fucking fat. Not to mention that she started treating me like I was her boyfriend and tried to keep me under wraps. The third girl did not have an attractive picture but I still met her because I wanted to see if I could just along with her. Turns out she was better looking in person and we have stuff in common so stay tuned on that. So you tell me.

Like this weekend when I did do out after reading this article I was so fucking pissed off that I decided to prove either myself wrong or the article right so I go to the one place I should not have gone to Murio’s. to my surprise there are girls there and I see two of them, just having read this earlier in the day I thought to myself, alright I guess guys here do not talk to girls, are lame, have nothing to say, have bad jobs and are basically losers. None of those things I think I am, I know I have a good job, I know I am a good person, I know I am funny, I know I am smart. If anything I am looking for a bitch that is similar to me and my likes. So I pick two girls that are talking to each other. I watch for like 15 mins and I notice that no guys are talking to them. So I start to make eye contact with both of them go out to have a smoke, come back in and sit next to them. Within 3 seconds I am talking to them, thinking to myself fuck this article it is wrong and I am right.

As I start I notice that one girl was really shy and didn’t feel like she was ever worth being in a conversation with any guy and the other girl was really drunk. But I forged ahead with the conversation and it was going well, we were going back and forth giving each other shit. Then I asked them their name, they give it to me they don’t ask me for mine. I ask them what they do for work and this is where they stumble and I started to find out a little more information about this whole situation. They go on to tell me that they usually lie about what they do. I ask them why and they tell me that guys find what they do to be intimidating. By this time I am really curious to find out what these two do. Turns out they are both chemists for a petroleum company. I am super pumped up by this because I think it is really cool that they are smart. They were surprised that I didn’t walk away from them and I kept talking to them. They go on to tell me that they will tell guys that they are nurses, teacher, basically anything that they feel is a traditional female job. It was during this part of the conversation that I realized could the article by kind of right?

I quickly remembered I was me and I am never wrong. I then started in on both if these girls and I tell them that they should not be afraid to tell a guy what they really do. Then they start in with the whining that guys don’t like girls that are smarter than they are. I tell them both they are wrong and that I find smart very attractive. I inform them that if a guy thinks what they do is too much for them then that guy is not worth talking to and he is a fucking looser. Now don’t get me wrong even though I am pissed about this article and what girls thing of single straight guys in San Francisco I will say that there are plenty of fucking morons here. But like in any place in the world you should avoid morons at all costs. Is what these girls were doing was lying about themselves right off the bat just in the hopes of getting some dick or possibly a date. Which poses its own problems.

Say you start going out with a guy that you find charming and you don’t tell them what you do for a living. Eventually you will have to tell them and then what will the guy think? I will tell you. If it were me I would be so fucking pissed that a girl had to lie to me about something so stupid I would cut them off at the knees the second I found out the truth. You are fucking setting yourself up for failure. You are also opening the door to get more losers in your life. Why not just be yourself and if it happens it happens if it doesn’t it doesn’t. There is nothing wrong with either. They start to agree with me like they should.

Then as I talk to them more they first told me that they were not able to find good guys that like them for who they really are. So that prompted them to start lying about everything they do and who they are. But then they start to tell me that they don’t want to be in a relationship. OK so you are out looking for a boyfriend but you don’t want to be in a relationship? They were both smart but neither of them could tell me how that made any sense.

When it was all said and done I asked the one girl I was into for her phone number and if she wanted to go out some time. She answered no very quickly. After it was all said and done I was not pissed in fact I felt really good about myself because I had been right. That article was total crap from beginning to end. Girls you are the major problem here. Sure the guys here are a lot softer then they are from where I grew up. But that is fine after all it is San Francisco, what do you expect. But even though they are softer they are still there. There is a guy out there that is easy to find. There is a guy out there that is talking to a girl right now, spitting game only to have the girl have it in her head that she is just going to use the guy for a drink. Girls you are the fucking problem.

You want everything. You want to be a feminist so guys try to accommodate that for you, but then we are too soft. You want a guy that has six pack abs, Oakland is just across the bridge but that won’t work for you because they don’t work for a big corporation. You want a guy that will treat you right but at the first sign you bail out right away and leave us standing there not even knowing why. You want everything and wonder why you can’t find it. I will tell you why, the guy you are looking for does not exist on this planet or if he does there is only one and he is probably taken.

Trust me girls when I say this guys are looking for something a lot simpler then what you are. We are looking for a girl that looks good enough to fuck. Notice what I said, good enough to fuck, that’s it just good enough. If a guy meets you and he finds you attractive in some way he will want to fuck, even if in the process of taking off your clothes he sees a bruise on your leg or a scare, we are still fucking at that point. Trust me.

We are looking for a girl that we can tolerate. We don’t even need a girl that we like everything about, we just one that we enjoy being around enough we don’t get annoyed. That is not too fucking hard. Girls up here are looking for a guy that waits on them hand and fucking foot not matter what they say, they are. Guys don’t want or need that for the most part. I know I just want a girl that is into some of the stuff I am into and doesn’t want me to be or do something I don’t want to do. I think that is a very simple request.

Guys want a girl with a job, that’s it just a job. We don’t give a shit if it is picking up trash or running a multibillion dollar corporation, just have a job. Girls up here want a guy that has the job. You know the job that they can put their other friends down with by trying to over impress. They want a guy that has the type of job that will allow them to do nothing, or at the very least very little.

Do you see the difference between us and why this article was so full of shit. It just reacked of look at me look at me. Again maybe it is because I am just a different cat and maybe a lot of guys are really that why. I can tell you this about me and the friends I keep. We all know who we are. We all know what we want. I find myself not having anything in common with anything they were saying about the guys they were describing. So before you start opening your mouth do what I do. In fact do what any grown up should do. Instead of waking up and pointing the finger at another person why don’t you point the finger at yourself. Do me a favor and when you wake up in the morning look in the mirror and ask yourself if you had done anything wrong. It is always easier to blame other people.

Again, I am not saying that they their complaints are not real. I have been out and I have seen the dumbest lamest mother fuckers. But they seem to always pick up chicks. When they do the chicks are always excited about it, but they know just how fucking lame the dude is. Did they give a shit? Not they don’t, they would rather not care about what they are doing in favor of complaining about it later. So if you want a real man, a man that will go down on you for hours. A man that can fix a toilet and read. A man that can take care of business both at work and in the bed room, you let me know. I will meet up with you and I will show you what’s up. I will show you that you are wrong. But I know you won’t because you don’t even know what the fuck you want. More importantly I know you won’t because you can never be wrong and you know that I will show you how wrong you are.

In short. Fuck you.