To the Beach and Back

A little more then a week into 2009 and I have nothing going on sexually. I have not had any luck the past few months. Oh well life goes on and I still look at almost everything that passes by me. it is so bad right now that my usual hang out spot has been dead too. This really sucks, these guys totally have my back but there is nothing going on. I am back on those stupid dating sites and still nothing. On that note I have to mention something that is bothering me about them. I am going to break it down for all you people out there right now. When you are on a dating site, first prepare to lie because nobody out there really likes who you really are. In fact here was my old profile…

“I feel like this whole thing is a bad advertisement and I am not going to sit here and try to make myself to appear to be any better or worse than what I might be. I feel that it is really up to the person reading this to decide what to think of me.

Having said that I prefer to stay at home and do activities that keep me here. I am not opposed to going out and jogging or playing soccer, usually when I do go out I go out by myself and I keep to myself. I probably suffer from extreme shyness or some sort of social disorder. I have a hard time opening up to people and my sense of humor is hard to understand.

I am looking for a person that can tolerate me and take interest in me. I do like to talk and have a good time but I tend to not have a good time when I am talking to a moron.

If you are interested wink at me and I will email you.”

Now while I feel that might not be the best way to get a girls attention, I was being honest. Now ladies out there, tell me the truth, you would most likely not respond to a guy that wrote that. My updated profile makes me sound a lot better then I really am. And for those of you that know me, probably know that I am much better in person. Also, I just have a really hard time writing about myself and giving people everything there is to know about me. I would like to think that if you are able to put everything about yourself in two paragraphs then you are not interesting or worth my time. You do have to admit on some level that is a masterpiece, which is why I kept it.

This brings me to my second point. Right before xmas I get all excited because a hot chick started a dialog with me, so I respond to her request, wait a week for her answer, respond back and I am still waiting. Seriously, fuck that shit. Why would you not do what I do if I am not interested in a person and tell them I am not interested in you? Like a person I know, she goes on these dating sites when she gets lonely and depressed. Why you might ask? Well she likes cock for starters and secondly when she has no money she knows she can fill up her week with at least four free dinners and movies. Then after each date she tells me how boring she thought the guy was. I always ask if she told him that she has no interest. The answer is always the same, well no I don’t know if I like him or not. Say what the fuck you mean please, just say you like being wanted and you like going out on dates with guys and not have to pay and you don’t want to ruin that by telling them the truth.

Not to say I am pissed, I am not. At this advanced age I know the score. I am not pressing or anything like that. In fact I almost don’t give a shit. Why you might be asking yourself? Well I will tell you why. I am working a lot during the week which takes up a lot of my time and efforts. I am pretty sure I could not give a girl that is looking for something serious the attention that they require. Because let’s be honest, when you are in a relationship, I basically go away and have to do shit for the other person and I am just not into that right now. Bottom line a girl has just a few things I need like a pussy but that won’t pay the bills.

Also, I started playing guitar again with my friend up here. We are writing surf music which is proving to be a lot of fun. No words just us acting like fools. As of right now we are calling ourselves 01 after our rating system for girls. The rating system is very easy and is based on binary code 0-I am not fucking, 1-I would, elegant in its simplicity.

I bought a long board (skateboard) and just go cruising through the park on weekends. It is very relaxing, it takes no skill at all you basically kick a few times and roll. So we ride to the end of the park which ends up at the beach and have a beer or two and ride back home. Very nice. In fact this morning I just put my head phones on and just went out. It was nice to be able to smoke and talk on the phone while I was riding.

Other then that I have just been working going out a little bit more then I would like. I find that going out is way to expensive and I would rather not spend money when I don’t need to. Sorry I am in a pissy mood, I’ll explain more at a later date.

The Girl without Shoes

Well I decided to start off the New Year right this year. Usually I will just stay at home and do nothing, but this year I decided to try something different and go out. My room mate was trying to get me to go to a club with her and some other friends but I was just not interested in it at all. No I really wanted to go to a Goth club just like in the old days of hanging out in Hollywood. But all the while I just was not sure what I really wanted to do because I am really cheap and the price tag attached to a awesome New Year’s Eve just always seemed like it was to much for me.

So all day long my room mate was still trying to get me to go with her to the club. After the millionth time of me saying no she finally got the hint. But before we go our separate ways we meet up at Greg’s house. Greg, is a 34 year old dude that lives off of his trust fund. Good guy, very childish but a good guy. I had never been to this guys house before, fucking massive, how this guy can’t get laid I have no idea. I mean really in the city you are lucky to get a room. Now I have two and basically every time I get a chick over I close the deal. This guy has a whole fucking house by himself which is unheard of. So we end up drinking just a little bit and playing foose ball, which I take way to seriously and want to win every time I play. So after about two hours of hanging out there watching Greg try to network his computer to his stereo we all decided to leave. They ask one last time if I wanted to go out with them, and for the final time of 2008 I told them no. and we go our separate ways.

Here is one thing that I have noticed about this group in general. I am not saying this is bad just that they don’t know me. You can’t make me do something that I don’t want to do. If I say no I mean it.

So I grab a bus to head downtown. Since the busses were free on New Years and running all night a lot of people were using them. But it was at the bus stop that I noticed something for the first time. New Year’s Eve, might be one of the worst nights to meet a person of the opposite sex. First off usually from what I see people go out as couples to eliminate meeting a random guy like me. Second, oh my fucking god seriously every year it is like people have never been out before. So I am stuck on a packed bus sitting directly across from six of the sluttiest chicks I have ever seen in my life. Each one of them dressed exactly the same, each one of them taking those fucking retarded pictures where they hold their own camera and make a silly face. Seriously, those fucking pictures need to fucking go, they are my definition of gay. So these hoes were totally drunk when they got on the bus, loud as fuck, but at the same time I could not stop looking up their skirts. Seeing camel toe where it was not intended is always a good thing.

I get off at my stop and I start the walk to my end destination. I am all pumped up because I was listening to Bauhuas and the Sisters of Mercy to get myself pumped up to dance. Now let me tell you, no I am not what you would call goth, those of you that know me probably have picked up on the fact that I have a very simple style. Also, years ago I tried to dip my hand into the gothic realm, I dyed my hair black and the whole deal. Basically it was the dumbest thing I ever did in my entire life and decided at that point I am cool the way I am. But I really like that type of music and I also like that people don’t dance together at those clubs. You just kind of look at the ground and do your thing. If you want to talk to a girl you do it either at the bar or in the smoking section. So for me it’s perfect, I like the music, I don’t feel any pressure to talk to girls, I really just feel like I can let it happen there as opposed to another type of place were everything is all in your face.

Now I used to go to clubs like this all of the time in LA, but it had been over a year. In fact the last time I went to a goth club was when I was living in AZ, which was a lot of fun for me. I remember the one golden rule about goth chicks, either they are really hot or really fucking ugly. So I am walking up and I see some dudes in top hats and capes running across the street and I knew I was close. I was just really excited to see what type of crowd there would be at this place. I do the typical move and just see who is out front and kind of make my judgment based on that. Holy fucking shit, wow ugliest people I had ever seen. So I really start to think if it was worth me paying $40 to dance when I could just wait until the next week and pay $10. I see a cab and I get in the thing so fast and tell him to take me right home.

I am home but I still really want to go out. See here is a thing with me, I am not all that spontaneous, I need to be prepared in my mind and I was all ready to go out that night so when I wind up back home I have the urge to go out. I think if you read my blog often you know exactly where I ended up. That’s right kids Murio’s. This was a different night people were actually inside drinking and because of this along with my relationship with the people that work there I did not have to pay for a single drink all night. So here I am thinking I am really fucking cool, but again I notice that the girls that are there bring guys with them to be safe, which is really no fun. If you are a couple just stay the fuck home and fuck, leave that night for super desperate people that just stand close to a single girl right before midnight hoping for a kiss. After I get a few free drinks I decide to go home and bring back a bottle of champagne to share with the fellas, we drink a little have a good time making fun of people then I make my way to the jute box. This was the first of two major mistakes I made that night.

Before the ball drops so I am still safe and in 2008 I walk to get some real music on and this chick grabs me and asks me what my name was. Honestly, I was not drunk enough to put it in her. But when she told me that she was going to make out with her friend that was hot I decided to open my mouth. “Yeah, that would be a great idea, your friend is so much hotter than you and I would like to see that.” They were not happy that I dissed the one girl, but really I don’t fucking care.

At about 1:30ish I decide that I need some food so I get to the pizza by the slice place. The same place that I called some dude a faggot and almost got into a fight with some drug dealers. I might have to get into that story next time I decide to write something. I just end up getting in these bad habits that I should be writing once a week and that turns into once every two weeks and I just forget what happened. in fact a lot of times after I write something I just forget it. Here is a little secret, I don’t put to much thought into writing this, I just sit in front of my computer and let it all out. I don’t stop writing until I am done so if it ends up being seven pages I am sitting here for two hours writing. But anyways I am back at the pizza place and you know when you are a pathetic desperate loser like I am you see hot chicks from a distance and start to think to yourself “man, if she just stood next to me she would find out how cool I am?” but ultimately it never ends up that way, usually they just walk right by you and pay no attention to you at all. Well this was that night, finally after 29 fucking years on this planet I thought something and it happened.

So this chick, her friend and her friends boyfriend are right behind me. we get to talk a little bit and I am like wow, finally my female counterpart. We both hate everything, we treat people like shit and we both think the world revolves around us. Fucking awesome I was digging her so I told her I would buy her some pizza. She was really surprised and after that I was going to go home and eat but they asked if I wanted to hang out with them and eat. By this time I was really fucked up and was not making the best decisions but I made the right one and I sat with them. So I am talking with this chick, her name is Holly we are getting along, she is from LA so we had some stuff in common which was cool. Bottom line we got along really well but like everything the night has to end, they were tired and had to get back home. I had not gotten her phone number. I remember in my mind thinking that while they are waiting for a cab I will talk to her a little bit more and get it then. See I am all fucking stupid when it comes to this, I won’t ask for a phone number if I am around people’s friends it always reminded me of stupid junior high shit and giggles. So I figure shit, it will probably be a good five minutes before they are able to get a cab and I will have my chance.

This is where me being a total planner backfires all the time because I could not adjust to this. We walk outside and I noticed that she was not wearing shoes and I was fascinated by that then they find a cab in seconds. Oh shit now what do I do? So the friend gives me a hug gets into the cab. Holly, gives me a hug and tells me that she wants to see me again. I am thinking great this is cool, get her fucking phone number. But my neurotic override system was telling me it was too late two of the three were in the cab and were ready to go. So after she tells me that she wants to see me again I just look at her and say “probably not” and walk away. But not before I saw the look on her face like oh my god, what was that.

To recap, it was not because I did not want to see her again. But instead my stupid mind told me that she was getting in a cab, it was too late to get her number, we live in a big city and the odds of me ever seeing her again were as close to zero as it could possibly be. So when I said “probably not” I was playing the odds of the situation. But I realize that she took it that I thought she was stupid and not worth my time. Way to fucking go Rob, may all my decisions in 2009 be just as bad.