I write this one with a bruised ass check, I am working through the pain in order to bring you entertainment for the week. You might be asking yourself why my ass is bruised and you know I will break it down for you. Saturday night fresh off a hot date, first one in months for me. the date went well, girl is cool, looking to get a second more details to come in the future. After the date was over things went down hill from there. Since she came to my part of town we stayed local and when she left I noticed I was right across the street from Murio’s and decided I will go in for a drink and to bullshit with the door man and bar keep.
It is always good when I walk into that place, I have been going there for so long now that I am just known and I know the mainstays. After a long day of work or whatever I find it fun to go to a place that I feel comfortable. This Saturday was really slow and something odd was in the air. I noticed two people that have been going out for a while that work at the pizza place down the street in the middle of a heated argument and was a little bummed out by that. I didn’t get involved none of my business and when I walk in I am greeted by Dave the Doorman, one of the coolest guys I have met. Talk for a few then I get my drink.
Since it was slow I go out to have a smoke with Dave and we drink our beers at the door so he can check IDs. And when I say it was slow I mean slow, there was probably like 15 people in the place. Oh I failed to mention that someone got the great idea of putting a DJ in the back. Now I have issue with that because when I go there I want to hear punk music and have it be loud. With a DJ spinning classic soul hits it brought in a new crowd. The usual crowd there are in jeans and leather jackets, that night you had the normal crowd at the bar and dude with half way buttoned shirts cutting up rug in the back. Really not the standard for that place which is known to be a rough bar, perfect for likes to fight guy.
Dave and I are sitting there minding our own business when a rugby player and his friend come in. Dave, doing his job asks for ID the rugby guy was cool with it but his extremely drunk friend felt that he didn’t have to show ID. Before there could be an argument another asshole runs outside with an open beer so Dave runs after him to tell him he can’t have that. In the time he was gone the drunk guy looks at me and starts cussing Dave out behind his back. Now being that I am cool with Dave this rubbed me the wrong way. So I have words with the guy while the rugby guy is like oh no my friend is going to get killed tonight.
Right before they were going to leave drunk guy looks at me and tells me that I am the type of guy that he would jack off in my face. By this time rugby guy grabs his friend and starts to walk him out. Truth be told I am afraid of rugby guy because they feel no pain much like a retard and didn’t want to fight drunk guy for fear that rugby guy would kill me. See I know my limits and I do my best to put myself in winnable situations. At that point all Dave and I could do was laugh.
Not even five minutes after they leave a dude with his girl come in and Dave asked for ID. The guy waves Dave off and was really rude about it. I mean come on, when a person that works at a bar asks for ID just fucking show it, this guy had to be all hard core. By the way he was fucking huge, his legs were as big as my waist. Dave gets up and gets between the big guy and the bar and tells him that he needs ID before they can be in there. The guy starts to question Dave asking who he was, Dave just says that he is the doorman. The guy pushes him aside and walks right up to the bar. Now the bartender Nicky is watching the whole thing and is rolling his eyes. Like he will let the guy buy a beer at that point, he wouldn’t even check the guy’s ID. A small argument starts up, the buff guy is claiming that is was racist and shit like that he was just trying to start trouble.
Now everyone I have this to has asked me if the guy was drunk. No he was not, he was a calm as can be he just didn’t a shit. He did get pissed a few times and would tell Dave to fuck off and shit like that. Things were getting a little bit testy and I can see that is was going to get out of control because the guy just didn’t care about anything other then getting what he wanted which was a beer without showing ID. At this point Nicky comes from behind the bar to try and calm the situation down. Dave was also doing his best to talk to the guy but after Nick got from behind the bar he just starts cussing at everyone and pushes Dave. At that point he was asked to leave but doesn’t want to. Instead he gets into Dave’s face and tells him that he is going to beat the shit out of him. I can see Dave getting a massive adrenaline rush because he was shaking not because he was scared but because he was getting ready to go with the guy. Now Dave is the same size as I am and this guy was fucking buff as fuck but he still didn’t back down.
Nick sensing that things were getting out of hand tells the guy he has to leave and there are plenty of other bars on the street he can go to. The guy gets even more pissed and again tells Dave he was going to beat his ass and pushes him. At that time I get up because the guy was so pissed at both of them that maybe if a random person got up he would calm down, wrong. After a few minutes he tells them that he was going to leave and starts towards the door. Dave and Nick are following him from behind to make sure he leaves. At this point they do not have their hands on him even after the guy pushed Dave, I am standing off to the side but kind of in the middle of it and he starts to walk out. Just before he gets to the door he turns around.
One last time he turns around but this time he pushes Dave again. Dave gets up in his face and starts to move him out of the bar at which point the guy tries to head but Dave glances at him turns to Nicky and pushes him into the door. All three of us then get the guy and start to aggressively get him out of the building. Once we get him to the door the guy starts to throw punches and we all use our energy to push the guy as far as we can from the bar. Well he was so big and strong that the push caught him off guard and grabs all of us at the same time as he is going down. We all go flying from the door to the curb. I bounce off the pile and hit the side of a car but as I hit the ground I look at the struggle and start to get back up because the guy was not staying down. But just as I get up another dude from inside runs out and gets the guy in a headlock and I grab my phone and call the cops.
For the short time I am on the ground I noticed that someone was bleeding and there was blood everywhere but didn’t think too much of it at the time. As I am on the phone they get the guy up from the ground and pin him up against a car. I am on the phone trying to keep calm, giving the lady the address, my name and what went down. Less than a minute later a cop car pulls up and three more follow, they come running out and separate all the people. Dave at this point is standing right next to me covered in blood. Then we notice that his head is busted wide open and we are all covered in his blood. The car was also a bloody mess but Dave was really messed up. The entire left side of his face was bloody, his clothes soaked in blood. I have blood on my clothes and on my arms. The cops are looking over Dave and ask him if he is alright, he keeps saying that he is but I tell him that he needs stitches and the cops agree so they call in the ambulance.
It was at this point in time that the buff guy looks at Dave and tells him that he is bleeding and wants to know how. We all start yelling at the guy who is trying to play it off like he did nothing wrong and walks over to Dave. The cops are doing a great job at this point as they let the guy walk right up to Dave until they realize what is going on and they all get on him. I mean really dude how the fuck do you think he got covered in blood could it have been because we had to throw you out of a bar and you decided to start throwing punches at us? Could it be that we all hit the curb or a car or the parking meter or all of the above. Fucking dumbass.
Now the ambulance arrived and we have to take off our shirts so they can hose us down because we all had blood on us. They check Dave out and it looked like he had a concussion and they put a neck brace on him. He gets taken away on a stretcher and the only thing I could do was give the paramedics my number because I am the only one that was involved that lives in SF and if he needed a ride home to call me.
After all the dust settled I drank more than what I planned on and we were all pissed. Meanwhile the half unbuttoned shirt people were having a great time because they go to this place for the first time and they see action and I start talking to a few other people. The buff guy gets cuffed and taken away.
So I am not in a good mood at this point, I am really pissed. So I am going to break down bars for all you people that go. Do not fuck with the doorman, if he asks for ID just fucking give it. do not fuck with the bartender, he won’t serve you drinks if you do. Most importantly if you are asked to leave take it like a fucking man and walk. Now buff guy is in jail he is going to have assault charges thrown against him, he is going to have to prove against ten other people who all saw the same thing. Hopefully Dave sues the fuck out of the guy causing him to loose they job he has having to wear a paper hat standing over greasy burgers making $8 an hour. All because you won’t show an ID. Now I am willing to bet that girl got wet in her pants and can’t wait for the guy to get out so she cam fuck his dick off which is sick for so many reasons.
I help close down the bar and walk home in a bad mood. This also sucks because I just don’t have the energy to write about the other stuff that happened to me this week. How I bought a new phone and will be posting short video clips on you tube. I can’t tell you the great time I had on Sunday and a bum sat at our table and started eating our food. How two drunk guys that just got done with a nacho eating contest started to pick up on my room mate. Sorry, maybe next week
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