September 7, 2008

Ball Buster

I have been a little out of the loop the past three weeks so I apologize again for missing a week and having a very poor entry last week. I will have a much stronger showing this week, mostly because I actually went back out.

So a funny thing happened on the way to having a girlfriend. I have all but decided that I just can’t have one. I do no have the ability to put another person before myself on a continual basis. Of course for the first time in my life I am basically able to have sex with any chick I want, so why would I want to be tied to one girl? Exactly it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense for me right now. Also, I am just plain no used to it. I am not used to either being able to put it in when I want or having a girlfriend. But as I eluded to last week there is a girl that I am going out with. It is going ok right now, I debated weather or not to include this story last week and I did not. But fuck it, who cares.

So almost two weeks ago I am hanging out with her before labor day weekend, she had plans to go back home for the weekend. And we had been hanging out messing around a few times a week for about two weeks, since we met. But this particular night I was finally able to inject her with my meat which was cool. More on that later. So in the build up to that point we were walking around getting some food and she starts to talk to me about my need for solitary vacations a few times a year. I basically have the need for about two to three weeks every year that I set aside for myself. During those weeks which could be just a long weekend, I do not want to talk to anybody or do anything. Sometimes I will be at home during that time, sometimes I will rent a hotel and just chill out with nothing. This is time I need for myself and I do take times like this every year. So she asks me about this and questions how often I need to do this for myself. So I explain it to her and tell her usually two weeks out of the year. She starts in telling me that she will not allow me to do that because she would not allow me to be in a situation that I am not able or willing to talk to her at least once a day. Exactly what I was thinking, we have only been hanging out for two weeks where is this coming from. Not to mention she got pissed when I told her that Com Con , I am so wrapped up in it that I end up not talking to anyone and I have a trip planned to go to Mexico City in 2009.

The story fast forwards back to her place. I had pretty much forgotten what she had said and played it off in my mind that it was just a joke gone wrong on her part. We start watching a movie and one thing leads to another and we end up on the bed, eventually without clothes. She scrambles around looking for condoms that she keeps under her bed accidentally activating her vibrator. She was very embarrassed and I was laughing at her. The big thing was after we were done, I really had to take a piss. I mean really bad. So I get up, mind you to get to her bathroom I put on only my boxers, and yes ladies who read this I do look like Brad Pitt in fight club. I get back and I find he standing almost in front of the bathroom and she had a look in her face. Well she starts to read me the riot act. I guess I am not supposed to leave her bed without telling her first, even if it’s to go take a fucking piss. I mean really what the fuck? she starts to tell me that I made her feel awkward for getting up like I had left. Listen up smarty pants, I am going to ditch you and not take my house keys, wallet, phone or clothes. I am going to walk home in just my boxers. So all I can remember is just looking at her just nodding my head saying either “I’m sorry” or Yes.”

So yes I was very happy that least weekend I was left alone and she was gone. That exchange got me to think a little bit more about me and relationships, also I basically slept all of last weekend which was nice. In the process I decided ok, I do get along with this girl, but maybe I have been wrong. Maybe because of how I am I needed to be a little bit smarter and really limit the number of times we hang out at first. Get myself used to spending time with just one person on a consistent basis. Then I got really sick and I have been basically down for a week.

Friday I start to get energized again, getting over being sick, wanting to go out again and wanting to hang out with the girl because it had been over a week. Hanging out with the girl did not happen, she had a friend come into town. No big deal to me. Saturday, I am out with my room mate and two of her friends that I know as well. There was a big Reggae festival in the park so we all go. Now first thing I don’t like Reggae, but I went just to do something different and check it out. So we are there hanging out drinking, it was a rare hot day in San Francisco so that made it uncomfortable for me. not to mention that there was a Dodger game that I was recording and I hate crowds. So talking with my room mates friend Shannon, who happens to be a big baseball fan herself that hates crowds and likes being alone more then being out, we decide to go back to my place to watch the baseball games.

We are at my place watching the games in one of my rooms, the one without a bed and we are expecting my room mate and our friend John to be back. I order some pizza for everyone to eat and I hear some noise in my kitchen so I figure that they must be back. Well it turns out that it was just my room mate but she was really pissed and was slamming shit all over the place making all kinds of noise. So I go in there and notice that she was getting ready to make something to eat and I tell her that I have a pizza coming. She gets all fucking bitchy with me and walks into her room. It dawns on me why she is pissed off but I don’t want to say anything.

So I go back into the room and tell Shannon that my room mate is really pissed off and I have no idea why, when I think I knew why she was pissed. A few minutes later John gets to my place and I tell him that Cheryl is pissed off. He confirms with me while we are all watching the game why she is pissed. Number one she is a bad drunk and gets cunty. Second, she was pissed at both Shannon and myself because she thought we were going to hook up. Now I don’t know why she is so worried or why she would even care. But I have told her many times because she has always been worried that Shannon and I would get together. To be honest, I think she is cool but I can’t really see myself going out with her in any other capacity then friends only. This is something that I have told my room mate and well if I am writing it here then it must be the truth. But she obviously doesn’t get that or doesn’t believe that because I was told that the whole way home all she did was bitch and moan about us watching a fucking baseball game together. I mean really junior high for her was over 25 years ago, get over it.

Once John confirms this story Shannon gets all pissed off and we look at each other with the same look on our face. So she gets up and talks to my room mate. After about five minutes she comes back in and says that she has calmed her down but she is still pissed off about her ex boyfriend that she broke up with six months ago. And now that she was pissed at me I will let my feelings be known. My room mate is weak minded and she cannot be alone. She has this boyfriend that she tells me she is not into physically at all but that he is nice. When I really know because she would always talk about how much money he made. She really thought of him as her meal ticket, that he would be the one to make a life for her. If you want to know why she in the time I have known her has never wanted to take agency in her life, feel free to ask her because I would like to know as well.

So after the baseball games are over John and I decide to bar hop. Now John is a good guy, but he doesn’t get it. His brother is the guitar player and founding member of No Doubt, yes the band that has a very hot female singer. To his credit he does not like to use that to pull chicks. But at the same time he has a hard time meeting girls that he doesn’t already know. I may be wrong but I would be all over telling girls who my brother is if he wasn’t a married mail delivering pot head. John, is not the best when it comes to things like that. I am now the extreme master of meeting random girls when out. It’s so easy I had no idea how simple it really is, you just say hello and ask how they are doing and go from there. To add to that I have found you really have to know yourself and put yourself in an situation or environment that you feel comfortable and confident in. for me that is just a few places. John, doesn’t get that and he wants to go to all of these places that I know right away we will not succeed at. But I want him to fail with me, so I let him pick. He wants to go into places that flat out do not fit in, girls in high heals dancing with guys wearing Rolex watches. We show up looking like hell and place after place he wants to go into is like this. We settle on a place called Noc Noc, when you go inside it reminds me of Tim Burton movies, so you know that I like it and they basically play 80’s goth music so again I did not want to leave. Problem was there were not a lot of people there, but it is a place that I would like to go to a lot more.

After Noc Noc, we go back up the street and hit up some more places, each one worse then the next. And I had to finally break it down for John so that he would understand. We end up at my place, Murio’s which is my Cheer’s. John goes there a lot as well. So we look around get some seats and I start to sit back and relax. John however has the ultimate look of desperation. He is leaning forward sitting at and awkward angle fawning over every girl that walks in. He asks me a question while he is doing that “Rob, you seem disinterested.” Soon after he says that girls start talking to me and you should have seen the look on his face, like when you first realized the your penis was not just for pissing but had a higher purpose. It’s funny because I am this guys hero, he is ten years older then I am but still I am his hero. All I do it just be myself but I am confident.

Well that’s all I have currently. Next weekend should be pretty big. In fact this week will be big. Happy birthday to my baby bro who had a bday September 3.

September 3, 2008

Because I am Late

As you can see I have gotten very lazy, partly because I have been sick and partly because I have been busy having sex. I will touch on that a little later first I want to give a shout out to one of my “readers,” Mr. Derek Castenada. Derek, thinks that I have a very boring life. Well Derek if you think having sex with three different chicks in the span of a week and a half is boring then yes I am boring. Sorry that I am not beating a chick that is 20 years older then me and a former crack runner at the docks. I have no fresh ink done on my forearm. And finally I do not have “more money then you’ll ever make.” Possibly the greatest line in the history of the world. You know come to think of it, Derek is 100% right I have a boring life. Derek, always gets into some shit, weather it’s knocking out a gangster at Mule’s, using his car to improve parked cars, giving himself diabetes and getting really drunk in general. Maybe Derek should have a blog not me.

Anyways, back to me. Nothing has been going on at all whatsoever. About the only think I can say is I have been going out with a chick for a couple weeks now. Basically since the last blog that I wrote. She is pretty cool, met her though match, which before I went out with her I decided she would be the last person that I meet from that. Turns out that she is pretty cool. But all that goes up must come down.

The down is this, my brother and friend Josh were talking about this whole thing. It appears that I might have gone above what I can realistically get. So naturally they had a conversation entitled ‘How will Rob fuck it up?’ Why is she out of my reach? I don’t know possibly because she is stable, is a lawyer and for some reason she likes me. So yeah looking at those things I can’t believe it either. Is what I want is the list that they came up with, as soon as I have that it will be posted.

Currently I am watching the Republican National Convention. Awesome stuff. I love how we have come to a point of slinging mud and making fun of the other person. Now it’s partyism, a word I just made up but i think describes what I see happening. Our Country is splitting in two. It has been doing this for a few years now in my opinion. We have a very polarizing figure that heads our Country and either you are happy to have or embarrassed by his sight. Now that he will be gone the gloves are off and each side is boasting how they know what we want. Do you? Do you know what I want? Further more all I end up hearing for either side is what I feel is a lot of hot air. Just tonight I have been hearing about what life will be like under McCain in 2013. Well I am currently living in 2008 and I want to know what you will do for right now. Who is to say that his old ass even lives to 2013? An argument that can be made for any candidate.

Here is my problem, in general terms. Our two party system really limits our choices. I have had debates with people that will not vote for either big party, usually is what that does is it takes the votes away from the Democrat side. Usually that is the side that people who vote for the green party or any of those other off parties will accept as opposed to a Republican. So we weaken ourselves and wonder why shit gets bad. Then you have the two big parties fighting in a sandbox trying to take over the school yard. They never seem to have something of substance to say either. They always use vague as fuck terms to describe what they will do. “I have a plan to rebuild our economy” well dick head feel free to clue me in on what your plan is. I am sorry if I am asking for more then you just telling me you have a plan, I need some substance I am not going to vote just to vote. If I don’t hear anything that I like I will keep my vote to myself and protest our system in that way.

August 17, 2008

Work

This week I am going to take a different direction that in the past. This will basically be my rant on work and a situation that I found out about on Friday. First, I will say that I ended up meeting a chick via Match this week, we went out on Friday and had a really good time. I felt like we got along very nicely and were able to have conversations. We will see, she is definitely a girl that I want to go out with a few more times and see where it goes. Crazy Kate is supposed to come over tomorrow, I am not to sure that is a good idea. She has far to much energy for me, but she is a fun person. Lastly, crossing my fingers I will be going out with another girl this week or weekend. She is new to town from Arizona and a Lawyer, so we’ll see. With me it either goes really good or extremely poorly.

Giving up the fear of sounding like a little bitch I will move forward with this work story. A little bit of background on my situation the way I see it before we begin. I was hired out of college, while I was taking Credential classes because I thought I wanted to be a teacher. In the process of getting that done I decided that I would play the field and see what is out there for me. Even though I had my BA I was not ready to stop learning and I wanted to take a job that would allow me to do something that I have never done before and reward hard work. So I interviewed with the company I know work for and I bought in. I decided and put my faith into their company and my ability. So off I went to Phoenix to do my training that was supposed to last a little over a year.

While in Phoenix, I found myself very bored and not liking my surroundings. I guess part of me missed my friends and family, but who doesn’t. I found it difficult to meet people there outside of the people I worked with. The exceptions to that were friends of people I worked with. So my life really revolved around work. Other then that I just did not feel comfortable living there, it just was not what I wanted. But I plugged along doing my best and deciding what my future would be and planning out how long I would stay there. Originally I wanted to stay through 2007 but that was before I got the call from the Zone Manager.

The call was simple, he asked me if I wanted to take the opening in San Francisco. I asked a few questions of my own, like how big is the Branch, is there a Sales Rep, are there any employees at the branch and how the team in general is. All positives coming from his mouth, except the sales part of it. Basically San Francisco sells in one month that Phoenix sells in one day so it would be a big down turn for me and I was concerned about that. But, it’s San Francisco and that alone is hard to turn down.

They get me on a plane for the official interview which was important for me to know who would be my boss and get a visual of the place. The interview went well, I could tell that it really wasn’t up to my future boss but that me seeing him was a courtesy put on by the Zone Manager because I was the only one he wanted for that position. I found out before I went that the San Francisco Branch was regarded as the biggest disappointment and failure in the entire company. Nothing had been right there for over five years and they were looking to make one big push. Smart on their part because I cannot resist a big challenge and the lure of San Francisco proved to be too much so off I went.

My first few months here was basically 12 hour work days every day, going to my hotel room and trying to find places to live. It was a very stressful lonely time for me, there was only two things in my life work and find a place to call home. I had a temporary distraction in the form of a girl that I met while in Arizona, so I would make a few weekend trips back out there. That ended in October, but whatever it was for the best. She wanted me to move back and give her five kids. After I found the place I live in now things started to change very slowly. I was able to spend more time going around town getting to know things. Slowly I started to meet people and work became less important because I had other things that interested me while I was not there. Basically I was getting acclimated to my new home.

Things slowly started getting better for me except for work. Work was always a big drag, not because of the work that I do but because of the people that I work with. In every job I have had I always wanted to no let myself down and do the best I could possibly do. But here I found that I had a boss that never left his house unless he had to. I had legitimate questions that needed answers too and I was never able to get any satisfaction. I did not have a Sales Rep of my own so the plan was to have two reps extend their territories in order to give me more coverage and get the ball rolling. What happened on the days that they were supposed to be helping me out? You guess it, those were the days that they slept in and more often then not did not leave their house that day. No phone call from them, broken appointments, I would open my mouth to my boss but did her care? No, how can you care if you do the same thing. Do not get me started on the other managers. Aside from two of them none of them know what they are doing, and to this day I get five calls a day from them asking me how to do something. I work with a bunch of kids that only care about their pay checks while I have an emotional attachment to my Branch because of the work I put into it.

After a few months of this I just decided it was not worth me caring about their faults anymore. It was just making me crazy and getting me depressed. So I made my own plan, it was obvious that I was not going to get any help from anybody and if I wanted to make things happen I would have to do everything myself. So I started going out on the road trying to get new business, I made myself the Sales Rep while having the title Branch Manager. The corporate guys all said that it was good that I make sales calls but that I needed a Sales Rep to get the accounts. In fact a Sales Job opened up and I asked about it and at the time they told me I would not be a good Sales Rep and to stop thinking about it. So along I went doing what I thought I needed to do.

The Sales job that opened up that I asked about ended up being filled by a guy that they kept telling me would be great. It was a brand new position to the company and it was good because the Rep was only to sell one line of paint and could float between four Branches. So it was a good way to make sales and had a lot of potential. The guy that they hired came from our main competition, come to find out yeah he did work them but over ten years ago. All this guy would do for the first five months was complain and do ‘work from home.’ Which is the biggest crock of shit. At first he was a person that I thought I could count on but over his first two months I knew that I could not count on him. He just didn’t have the work ethic that I knew was needed to be successful at my branch. So I was left back at the start no real help and doing everything myself.

In April my boss decided to have a meeting in which he used a projector to show a room full of guys porn, made us play Texas Hold’em with a $25 buy in (I do not know how to play), kept saying the N word in the presence of a Black guy, wanted us to make a Rap video and get some “hoes” for it. It was just a bad situation and I still can’t believe that I was there. I talk to a few people and we were all pissed about what had happened, but to my knowledge nobody said anything. Then one day I get a call about the meeting, and I will be honest I thought my boss was a total piece of shit and anything I could do to fuck his life up I was willing to do it. So I told the truth of what happened that night.

To my surprise however, they did nothing to him for two weeks. Is what they did was suspend him. I just don’t understand why they did not fire this guy on the spot. The story was verified by everyone that was at the meeting even though many of them wanted to keep quiet to protect him knowing that if he was gone they might get a person that would make them all work. After two weeks they gave him the option of resigning. I have no idea why they would do that, why would they let him decide the terms on which he leaves the company? Along with my boss his boss also got canned because he was at these meetings and did nothing during and said nothing after. Is what he did do was lie to everyone about how he got fired and erased all of the office computers. So we are left with a power void at the local level.

In steps in the Zone Manager, the same one that wanted me to take job. During the month of May he kept asking me if I was willing to move again. I was not really interested in that, I like living where I live and I do not know of too many places I would be willing to trade. But he kept asking and I kept saying no and in the mean time I kept doing what I have to do. I go out make my Sales calls get rejected on a constant basis but I don’t are I keep it up. I work the long days doing the sales and making time to do my paperwork, I am determined to get San Francisco back. Knowing that it is regarded as the worst Branch in the company and I am the one in charge of it doesn’t sit well with me and I am willing to work my ass off to get it off the bottom.

Then one day in late May my hard work starts to pay off. A shop that I had been going into for months was just out of his contract and I walked in there and asked hi if he wanted to do business. So then it starts, I am in the middle of negotiating his contract with us. So I am getting all of this stuff done working until sometimes 8:30 at night. Doing research pulling the strings, getting his financial documents, talking to their Lawyer. I did all of that good stuff and I put the package together for an Area Manager to write up the official proposal because I am not allowed and do not have the access to it. So we get that all done and who decides to come on the day I am going to give this customer the proposal? Yes that’s right the Sales Rep that they hired to focus on my territory who I see once every two weeks. After that day the owner of the shop all but said he never wanted to see the other guy again and only wanted to deal with me.

We start doing offer counter offer. Every time he countered I would have to go to my Zone Manager to get it approved. Those conversations were very intense to say the least and I let him know that I am only asking questions because I had never been in a situation like that before and wanted to know the correct way to take care of issues. When the truth is, they don’t give you all the information you need to be successful, they keep a lot of things hidden and to themselves. I get shot down on what I wanted to do, so I have to sell the customer the original deal. I end up doing this, and he agrees to the deal. I was so stressed out but happy at the same time. All the hard work I was putting in started to pay off and was seemingly coming around.

Right after he agrees to the deal I go through the process of setting up their account. It gets to the point that I have to either assign his service to the Sales Rep or to the Branch, without question I was going to set it up under the Branch. In my opinion the Rep did nothing to get the account so why should he get any benefits from this? As I was doing this I get a call from the Zone manager telling me to put it under the Reps name. I did put up a fight on this, but it was basically do this or they would just change it. So I either had to fall in line with them or be on their shit list. The following week since the account was now in the Reps name I asked him to take care of a few things for the customer. He did none of them, but since they want nothing to do with him and only want to deal with me I got all of the shit so I ended up having to do it all. There was no thank you from the Sales Rep until this week, I will give you more on that a little later. There was no offer to buy me lunch, nothing at all. I felt like a fucking tampon, they put me on the slit to stop the bleedings and when that’s done I am in the trash.

While I did not get the paperwork credit for the account, the big wigs knew it was me that got the account and I was getting a lot of calls for a few days after that happened. They wanted to use my story as an example of success for other smaller Branches that only complain about their situations. I was now their poster boy for success. Listen to what Rob has to say, did you hear what San Francisco has done? They ended up hiring a new boss for me, who I think will work out great. At our first meeting with him, he uses me the same way. Letting the Sales Reps know that they get paid to sell and I was the only one in the room that has brought in a new account this year. He let’s the managers know that it is possible to get accounts if you try. I become propaganda, which I fucking hate. It got to the point that I told them I never want to hear about this again and it’s time to move on.

Because of this account I start to get phone calls again about Sales jobs. They would ask me if I wanted to go to Nebraska or Iowa, my answer was always no. then one day my boss called me and asked me what I wanted to do. I told him simply I wanted to stay the manager in San Francisco, but I wanted to hire another person for the Branch so I could make more sales calls. To that I added that I wanted to be out on the road every day for at least six hours, so I would basically become the full time Rep and I wanted the benefits of the company care and all of that good stuff. My boss was all over that idea he thought it was great, but the visionaries above him could not come close to comprehending the idea. My idea goes nowhere.

It was clear to me that the reason they said no to this idea was because they wanted me to move. They feel I am too talented for the position I am in, they want me to move out to benefit them. I talk to another Area manager about an open job he has in Fresno. I simply told him that I am willing to work for him and I do want to be a Sales Rep but I do not want to trade San Francisco for Fresno. That was a month ago now.

Friday I get a call from HR, the last time I got a call from them it was because of the meeting that went wrong. This time it was again about the Sales job that covers Fresno, Stockton and Sacramento. All three places I think are the fucking bowls of hell and if I wanted that I would have tried to stay in Arizona. Basically I have no desire to move there. But this HR person is being persistent with me taking that job. I get the same tag lines that you always get that now I see right though. “It’s a great opportunity!” shit like that and when I expressed again that I was not willing to trade living in San Francisco for any of those cities the response was not one of concern or understanding it was more like “I can’t believe you are willing to waste this great opportunity.” Why is that such a great opportunity anyways? If you want me to be miserable then yeah I would be all over it but I stopped wanting to kill myself years ago and I do not want to get on that train again.

She starts reaching after I again told them no because of the area. She asked me if I would really have to move. Fresno is four hours away. Stockton is one and a half hours away. Sacramento is two hours away. So in short yes if I wanted to be successful I would have to move. What does she do? She gets out a fucking map and tries to verify the distances, as if I am trying to lie to her. When she finally gives up on the distance she then goes to the reverse psychology card and tells me that, the Manager that was hiring for that position didn’t think I was ready for all of the goals and expectations. Really? I had to stop her and tell her that I was not some retard that you can trigger emotionally like that, I am a rational human being that you have to approach intelligently for me to give you what you want. I mean seriously, what the fuck type of bullshit is that? I am not ready for the expectations, no I think you are trying to offend me into taking the position which I will not let happen.

I leave the conversation open by telling her to give me a call back on Monday and give me more information about the position but I would still most likely say no to it. But I want to be able to at least see it. I follow that phone call with a phone call to my boss, who I have a high level of respect for and told him that HR is going behind his back trying to steal me away from him. This did not sit well with him at all. He felt like they were trying to undermine him by taking me away. He knows the value I have for the Area, I am the Branch problem solver and I am needed in that area like you would not believe. Also, he and I have plans for what we want to do in San Francisco. Since he trusts me and I can produce for him he is at least willing to listen to my ideas and run them up the flag pole. They usually get shot down but we try at least. He tells me something very interesting about that position.

He thinks it would be good financially for me for the following reason. That position gets commission where normal Sales Reps do not. They get their salaries and they have a bonus plan based on quarterly sales goals. But these Reps get 10% commission every month on what they sell. In comes me getting really pissed off. Why you may ask? Well remember that account that I had to give up because one of the big boys told me I had to. Well I basically gave that Rep 3k a fucking month in extra money. Not to mention that taking on his expenses basically kill any chance of me getting a bonus for myself.

So if you are reading this you tell me if you would be happy about this whole thing? I certainly am not or why would I spend a hour writing about it? I do not like to use the term ‘fair’ because it is to arbitrary but I will use the term “right” because I think we can all come fairly close to knowing the difference between right and wrong. In my opinion this whole thing is wrong. Let’s forget the money for right now because I would not have gotten the commission anyways. Let’s talk about how a company can reward someone so blindly for not working and not doing their job. I always grew up thinking that if you worked hard you would get the benefit of it but I am finding out that is not always the case, if you get into a person ear enough and you cry like a bitch you end up getting what you want.

So what do I get out of this whole deal? I get fucking harassed by corporate people asking me to move every fucking day I am at work. Even worse when they do not listen to me when I tell them no, I can’t be bought out like that. Especially when I am seeing the shit that is going on all around me. I see people getting rewards for nothing, I see myself being used as an inspirational tool that I do not endorse. I am a big piece of meat to them and they feel like they bought it by investing in me so they can pressure me into doing whatever they want.

Also, I finally got a call from the Sales Rep thanking me for giving him the account. Why you might ask? Very simple, he got his first commission check from it. So while I sit here broke he gets the equivalent of my take home in one check. So those Doctor bills that I have because my great insurance did not pay for a routine check up even after I pay my co pay, might not get paid this month or next month.

You know what fucking this shit. I swear I don’t know if I have ever been this upset at work before. I feel like my face is the water in the toilet and they took big gigantic shit on me.

Next week Radiohead is playing three feet from my house, I am sure next week I will have something entertaining as opposed to self serving for you all.

August 10, 2008

Float on



I feel very uninspired this week. I am feeling the effects of the Comic Con trip on my bank account. I have not felt the same since I have been back, I was on such a high two weeks ago that I think this type of lull was to have been expected.

The majority of my week was spent at work. Not too much going on. I am living off of eggs, bread and bologna. A few times I splurged and ate a bagel in the morning and a topping of cream cheese. So with this I started to think about the strategy I was employing throughout July, which was to hit up bars and such four days a week. That really did not get me anywhere except broke. I have decided to go out less maybe twice in a week but have those times be more impactful. Fast forward to Saturday.

My friend John came over to watch the Dodger game, we hang out for the duration of the game and had been talking about not wanting to go out that night. As we were talking he was telling me that he has the same problem that I always had, which is what the hell do I do when I talk to a girl? What do I say to keep her interested? How do I determine if she is attracted to me? These problems I am finding through talking to a lot of guys, is very common. I really thought I was a rare case. Hearing him talk about that stuff really made me think about the Con and I told him stories of it. He showed me a really cool site couchsurfing.com, which is a site that you put a profile up and it is for people that travel around and need a place to crash. He walked me through the site a little bit and of course I wanted to see what type of talent was on the site. I will say this, John showed two French chicks that will be staying at his place and I now have my own profile. So we were both motivated to go to our favorite place Murio’s.

I basically pump him up and give him a few simple tips that worked for me. We have a beer and hang out just checking it out. That place is very hit or miss with the amount of people that are there on a night to night basis. Because of that it make it my spot, I never feel any pressure when I go there, if there are people there that night it’s usually easy to talk to people. So we are standing and we notice these two chicks that are at the bar. One I found very attractive the other not so much. John and I looked at each other and we knew it was on.

We walk up to them while they are sitting at the bar, at that time there were no seats available at the bar. I looked at one of the chicks and she had a dog with her which I thought was odd, but hey once you live in San Francisco you will find out really quick that you come across shit like that all of the time. People that live here have to be a different breed. Either you do off the cuff stuff or you get some sort of enjoyment out of seeing people do off the cuff stuff. John, makes eye contact with “Blondie” and she hands him her dog as she walks to the bathroom. Well ‘walks to the bathroom’ I use very loosely, it was more of a stumble crawl. I close my eyes and I decided at that point in time that I could make no further moves on her. John looked at me and asked if I saw anything wrong with her and I told him that I think she is way too drunk and possibly on some kind of drug(s). Her friend did not seem as wasted. A seat at the bar right next to her opened up so John and I were very quick to fill those seats.

I break the ice and hand it over to John, I was not too interested in the friend so I figured I could just be there to back him up. Within minutes he had her phone number, made plans to hang out with her. She wanted me to give her guitar lessons, I was not into that but I played it like I was for John. It wasn’t too long that guys who are vultures started swooping in for the drunk friend. I mean every guy that was not with a girl already was all over her. Looking at this I felt really good about myself for not going for it.

So this song and dance goes on for like 30 minutes, John is pumped up because he got a number. She was showing signs of affection by hugging him constantly. I go outside for a smoke and when I come back in John now has his hand on her leg. I am thinking cool he is in. She goes into the bathroom and it turns out they just moved here and cannot move into their place until August 20th, so we thought it would be a good idea to offer them a place to stay for the night at John’s. Her drunk friend is being occupied by some guy that says he is Italian, but I think he had about the fakest accent I have ever heard.

So Italian guy is all over Blondie and I usually always find it more fun to over hear people’s conversations. This was not an exception. He is in some old garage sale jeans and a beat up leather jacket, cell phone most likely ten years old. I have not seen a cell phone that big since the last time I saw Saved By The Bell. I will have to give this guy credit though, I mean a sober chick would have been repulsed by him. Hell, I am not into guys and I was repulsed by him. Turns out he has a very high level job, working at two different restaurants. Now I used to work at a restaurant and I know if you have a management level job, that is the only restaurant that you work at. It is very demanding and you would not have time to work at another. Now if you are a server or buss boy then yes you can successfully work at two different restaurants. This guy is no server. Then he starts in with the band that he is trying to get back together. Really, I can’t believe that a person would be pulling this type of shit but I am glad that he did because I was very amused.

While I am watching that all go down, the friend had been wondering around the bar and was talking with a dude with long hair. John was getting slightly annoyed by this, but I tried to keep his mind in the right place. The right frame of mind is “who cares.” I mean seriously, he pulled the phone number, they were touching each other all over it was time for him to show a little confidence like that did not bother him. He thought it would be best to break in and talk to her a little bit more. He talks to her for less than a minute and comes back, he thinks it’s all good and I agree with him. No sooner then he is back sitting down that she opens up the faucet to her stomach and vomits all over the bar for like a full minute. It was truly remarkable to see that amount of shit come out of another persons mouth. The bar tender Nick, was no as happy as I was to see that. I helped him clean up and told John to go outside with her.

Turns out that Italian guy went out there too and put them into a cab. To where is the question because they had been in the city for like 10 hours and had no place to stay. Where could he have had them taken to? The whole thing was just off in my mind. After he was bragging outside that he made a lunch date with Blondie, as if she was going to remember the events of that night other then not knowing where they were when they woke up. This was a topic that John and I talked about for the rest of the night. But hey, what the fuck can I do about it?

After the girls were shoved into a cab John and I left to check a few other places. Nothing going on around us so we called it a night. I get home and the drama begins. Turns out John had known that my room mates ex boyfriend was cheating on her and did not tell her anything. She found out from another party, even turns out the guy that told her does these types of things just to make people as miserable as he is. To be fair to John, as far as I can tell he found out after they had broken up. They have been friends for over ten years. So my room mate was very upset last night, if you want confirmation talk to Liz, she was on the phone with me when this happened. This brings a question into my mind, what do we as friends have an obligation to tell?

For me as a person that is finding out small parts of the equation over last night and today. I would say that John did not want to say anything because he found out after the fact and telling my room mate would have brought her extra harm. Or was he just covering for one of his boys? I don’t know. I know I would probably have a hard time telling one of my friends about something like that. It would be awkward to say the least for both of us. But I think at the end of the day I would value my friend enough to inform them of something like that.

The Olympics are so fucking good. I am all over women’s diving, volleyball and basically anything with chicks in it.

This coming week will be big for me. I might get a promotion to Sales Rep, which would mean I would become the enemy.


I am pretty much done with online dating sites. I am finding the people on them to be the biggest fakes. They hide behind the fact that there is no one on one interactions. They put the most flattering pictures and in some cases very old pictures where they looked 50 lbs lighter. They over exaggerate their personalities as well. For me what you see is what you get. I always have a very hard time with those sites because I never know how to describe myself. Which I think is a good thing, I would like to think that people are much more complex then being able to answer a few black and white questions that pay no attention to the grey area in which we live. Also, if you can really give a person your essence and what you are looking for in two paragraphs are you even looking for anything other then a person who can entertain you for two weeks?

August 3, 2008